FALSE BELIEFS
"There is only one cause of unhappiness;
the false beliefs you have in your head,
beliefs so widespread, so commonly held,
that it never occurs to you to question them."
Anthony de Mello
As a child of poverty, neglect, and a family that moved frequently, I was always an "outsider." I was looked on as "unacceptable." As an adult I moved away, married, and lived in the same community all the rest of my years. I've had the same friends and lived a very respected life. Yet internally I was still "unacceptable" ~ always feeling "less than" others. I never even told my husband or children about those aspects of my childhood. There were parts of me I never shared with anyone. I did not question the idea that I was still an "unacceptable" person, though there was lots of evidence to discount that idea.
Since joining The Recovery Group program and sharing that pain with my sponsor and others, that pain-filled inner child has been freed and has integrated with the person that I am today. This freeing process has enabled me to finally see and feel the love, the acceptance, and the respect that has always been there for me.
One day at a time...
I will reach out to others at meetings and within our Recovery Group ~ especially those who have had a childhood similar to mine. It has been a tremendous gift to be able to go back, take that neglected little girl by the hand, and bring her into my world to live with me.
~ Karen A.
Voices of Recovery: July 22nd
"Catalog and recatalog the positive enjoyment of abstinence from compulsive overeating."
--From the OA pamphlet: Before You Take That First Compulsive Bite, Remember. . .
I seem to have such a limited ability to relate my actions to their consequences. Coming into OA I blamed my weight on everything but my eating -- my family, society, my metabolism. By the grace of my Higher Power, I finally saw that relationship between my eating behaviors and my weight. Abstinence brought weight loss. But over times, I experienced slips and eventually a relapse.
Lately I've realized that when I'm abstinent, I feel good; when I'm into the food, my life is unmanageable. This connection has been there all the time, but the only part of it I had made was that abstinence brought weight loss. I am finally understanding that, for me, staying abstinent means what the pamphlet says, "The simple ability to eat and sleep normally and wake up glad you are alive, glad you abstained yesterday and glad you have the privilege of abstaining today." Each morning I make a point of remembering that the reason I feel good, the reason I sleep well, and the reason I am glad I am alive is because I am abstinent. I was abstinent yesterday, and I have the choice to accept the privilege of abstaining today. Finally, this connection is clicking into place. I am so grateful.
I see that abstinence is the foundation underlying my ability to appreciate all that is good in my life. Today I choose to abstain from compulsive eating.
From: Voices of Recovery - A Daily Reader
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Each Day a New Beginning
How I relate to my inner
self-influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with
myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.
Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.
Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.
My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.
Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.
Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.
My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
The Power of Abstaining
Abstaining from compulsive overeating fills us with new strength. When we become honest and determined in this area of our life, our resolution and clarity flow into other areas, too. The new order and discipline are reflected in all that we do.
We establish abstinence as the most important thing in our life. As mind and body are released from the dullness and apathy caused by too much food, we are more efficient and we function more effectively. Other priorities and values sort themselves out. Instead of being torn by conflicting desires, we are able to decide which projects and activities are of most value. Instead of being paralyzed by fear and depression, we have the motivation and energy to do what needs to be done.
Accepting life-long abstinence as the will of our Higher Power enables us to push food out of the center of our life.
Thank You for the power of abstaining.
Abstaining from compulsive overeating fills us with new strength. When we become honest and determined in this area of our life, our resolution and clarity flow into other areas, too. The new order and discipline are reflected in all that we do.
We establish abstinence as the most important thing in our life. As mind and body are released from the dullness and apathy caused by too much food, we are more efficient and we function more effectively. Other priorities and values sort themselves out. Instead of being torn by conflicting desires, we are able to decide which projects and activities are of most value. Instead of being paralyzed by fear and depression, we have the motivation and energy to do what needs to be done.
Accepting life-long abstinence as the will of our Higher Power enables us to push food out of the center of our life.
Thank You for the power of abstaining.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Learning to Trust Again
Many of us have trust issues.
Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.
Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.
Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.
Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.
In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.
We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.
We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.
When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.
Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.
Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.
Many of us have trust issues.
Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.
Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.
Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.
Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.
In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.
We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.
We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.
When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.
Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.
Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher.
--Florence Scovel Shinn
We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear.
We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead - gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn.
Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments.
The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear.
I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers.
You are reading from the book:
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