THE BOTTOM
"Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it."
George Santayana
Sometimes we have to go to the absolute bottom. If we're extremely lucky, the absolute bottom is where we find our inspiration. Sometimes I think that people who don't hit absolute bottom are missing a valuable experience. Then again, living life on the edge of that precipice is no fun at all. The greatest gift is to be able to step away from the edge and live life without the fear of falling.
If we aren't extremely lucky, what we find at the absolute bottom is a trapdoor that opens to a vast, empty space. The door opens and the empty space gratefully accepts the body and the soul given to it.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will stop living on the edge;
I will stop regretting my past;
I will avoid the trapdoor.
~ Richard H.
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Each Day a New Beginning
It's quite uncomfortable to be an adolescent at age thirty-two.
—Peggy Cahn
Our lives are in process every moment, which means change is ever-present. As new information is sorted and acquired, old habits are discarded. We don't let go of some old behaviors easily, however. They are like comfortable shoes. They may be worn thin, and they probably embarrass us in certain company, but we slip them on unconsciously and then it's too late.
Maturity is an "as if" behavior, initially. Emotional development was stunted, for most of us, with the onset of our addictive behavior, thus, we often respond to situations like adolescents. Application of the "as if" principle will result both in new personal attitudes and unfamiliar, yet welcome, responses from others. Acting as if we are capable, strong, confident, or serene will pave the way for making those behaviors real, after a time. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to become the women we strive to be, we can then move forward confidently.
When my behavior embarrasses or shames me, I will accept the responsibility for changing it. Changing it offers immediate rewards. The people around me will react in refreshing ways, and I'll feel more fully alive.
—Peggy Cahn
Our lives are in process every moment, which means change is ever-present. As new information is sorted and acquired, old habits are discarded. We don't let go of some old behaviors easily, however. They are like comfortable shoes. They may be worn thin, and they probably embarrass us in certain company, but we slip them on unconsciously and then it's too late.
Maturity is an "as if" behavior, initially. Emotional development was stunted, for most of us, with the onset of our addictive behavior, thus, we often respond to situations like adolescents. Application of the "as if" principle will result both in new personal attitudes and unfamiliar, yet welcome, responses from others. Acting as if we are capable, strong, confident, or serene will pave the way for making those behaviors real, after a time. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to become the women we strive to be, we can then move forward confidently.
When my behavior embarrasses or shames me, I will accept the responsibility for changing it. Changing it offers immediate rewards. The people around me will react in refreshing ways, and I'll feel more fully alive.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Saying No
There are times when all of us find it difficult to say no. Even though we realize intellectually that we cannot have and do everything, we have trouble saying no to the foods, activities, and people that are not good for us.
Abstaining means saying "No, thank you" when offered something not on our food plan. We may think that we are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings by our refusal, but usually it is our own compulsive desire that prevents us from giving a firm no. Our sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what we should not have.
As we work the program, we become more aware of the people and activities that use up our energies unnecessarily. Avoiding them gives us more time and strength for what means most to us. Learning when and how to say no is a very important part of our recovery. Most often, the person we need to say no to is ourself.
I pray for the strength to say no to what is not good for me.
There are times when all of us find it difficult to say no. Even though we realize intellectually that we cannot have and do everything, we have trouble saying no to the foods, activities, and people that are not good for us.
Abstaining means saying "No, thank you" when offered something not on our food plan. We may think that we are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings by our refusal, but usually it is our own compulsive desire that prevents us from giving a firm no. Our sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what we should not have.
As we work the program, we become more aware of the people and activities that use up our energies unnecessarily. Avoiding them gives us more time and strength for what means most to us. Learning when and how to say no is a very important part of our recovery. Most often, the person we need to say no to is ourself.
I pray for the strength to say no to what is not good for me.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Receiving
Here is an exercise.
Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.
Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.
Just say, "Thank you."
Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.
Here is an exercise.
Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.
Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.
Just say, "Thank you."
Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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We have the power to direct our minds to replace the feelings of being upset, depressed, and fearful with the feeling of inner peace.
--Gerald G. Jampolsky
Learning to identify negative thoughts is a powerful way to begin changing our negative behavior. We always think before we act, even if the thinking has become automatic.
As we become committed to being aware of negative thoughts, we can stop, take a deep breath, and repeat a positive affirmation. Practicing this process will actually change the way we feel about ourselves. By thinking about positive things, we can change how we feel about a situation and about ourselves, too. Now, life has more promise, more joy.
Today, let me have the courage to change the way I think.
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