~ CHILDLIKE ~
Anxiety is the rust of life,
destroying its brightness and weakening its power.
A childlike and abiding trust in Providence
is its best preventive and remedy.
Tyron Edwards
Like so many of us in OA, I grew up as a little adult. My parents didn't know better - treating me like an adult seemed a good way to them of both showing love to me and making their difficult post-war life easier. Providence was something that intervened once in a while, and in ways that were weighty and important. God was there - but God had to attend to serious matters.
There was little room in God's and my parents' life for the seemingly unimportant details of a child's world. I had no trouble internalizing that message. I learned very soon that no-one was going to take care of my "little" problems and anxieties, that I had to shove them out of the way, and that I could do that very well by daydreaming, by making sure I was the little adult my parents were so proud of - and by eating.
The trouble was that there were times when these coping mechanisms didn't work seamlessly and those anxieties would break through. Panic attacks were the result, and dogged attempts to do more of the insanity: more retreating from the world, more "adult" behavior, more eating.
One of the things I'm learning in recovery is that paradoxically, in order to really grow up, I need to risk the vulnerability of being more childlike. I need to learn that my Higher Power is not too busy worrying about world peace to listen and deeply care about my little booboos. I need to, I WANT to develop an abiding trust that I am safe with and cared for by my Higher Power, like a baby in a mother's arms.
One day at a time ... I let go of the rust of anxiety so that like a child, I may marvel at and participate in the brightness and wonder of God's world.
~ Isabella ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind.
—Helen Keller
Facing conditions we would like to change, letting go of people we wish were different, takes growth, patience, tolerance. We're so easily enticed into thinking we'd be happier, "If only he'd change," or "If I had a better job," or "If the kids would settle down." Yet we carry the seed of happiness within us every moment. Learning tolerance for all conditions will nurture that seed.
Intolerance, impatience, depression, in fact, any negative attitude is habit-forming. Many of us in this recovery program continue to struggle with the habits we've formed. Bad habits must be replaced with new, good habits. We can develop a new behavior, one that pleases us, like smiling at every stranger in a checkout line. We can repeat it in every line. It becomes a habit and a good one.
Toleration of others opens many doors, for them and for us. It nurtures the soul, ours and theirs. It breeds happiness. Those of us sharing these Steps are truly blessed. We're learning about love, how to give it and how to receive it.
There are so many eyes I'll look into today that don't know love. I will give some away with unconditional tolerance. It's a gift -- to myself and others.
—Helen Keller
Facing conditions we would like to change, letting go of people we wish were different, takes growth, patience, tolerance. We're so easily enticed into thinking we'd be happier, "If only he'd change," or "If I had a better job," or "If the kids would settle down." Yet we carry the seed of happiness within us every moment. Learning tolerance for all conditions will nurture that seed.
Intolerance, impatience, depression, in fact, any negative attitude is habit-forming. Many of us in this recovery program continue to struggle with the habits we've formed. Bad habits must be replaced with new, good habits. We can develop a new behavior, one that pleases us, like smiling at every stranger in a checkout line. We can repeat it in every line. It becomes a habit and a good one.
Toleration of others opens many doors, for them and for us. It nurtures the soul, ours and theirs. It breeds happiness. Those of us sharing these Steps are truly blessed. We're learning about love, how to give it and how to receive it.
There are so many eyes I'll look into today that don't know love. I will give some away with unconditional tolerance. It's a gift -- to myself and others.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Spirituality
Ours is a program for living spiritually as well as physically. We have found that without daily spiritual nourishment we feel an emptiness, which no amount of material things can fill. We have also found that when we were overeating and were physically glutted, we were less receptive to spiritual food.
In Step Eleven, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him. We do this through daily prayer and meditation. Our contact with our Higher Power is most effective and satisfying when we are carrying out the physical part of the program by maintaining abstinence.
When we came into OA, most of us wanted to eat less in order to lose weight. As we grow through the Twelve Steps, we gradually learn that eating less physical food enables us to make more spiritual progress. The rewards of working the OA program are far greater than we had imagined! The spiritual food, which we receive from our Higher Power, begins to satisfy the emptiness which we had foolishly tried to fill with excess calories. Not only do we maintain abstinence in order to control our weight, but we also maintain it in order to grow in spirituality.
May I remember to seek spiritual food.
Ours is a program for living spiritually as well as physically. We have found that without daily spiritual nourishment we feel an emptiness, which no amount of material things can fill. We have also found that when we were overeating and were physically glutted, we were less receptive to spiritual food.
In Step Eleven, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him. We do this through daily prayer and meditation. Our contact with our Higher Power is most effective and satisfying when we are carrying out the physical part of the program by maintaining abstinence.
When we came into OA, most of us wanted to eat less in order to lose weight. As we grow through the Twelve Steps, we gradually learn that eating less physical food enables us to make more spiritual progress. The rewards of working the OA program are far greater than we had imagined! The spiritual food, which we receive from our Higher Power, begins to satisfy the emptiness which we had foolishly tried to fill with excess calories. Not only do we maintain abstinence in order to control our weight, but we also maintain it in order to grow in spirituality.
May I remember to seek spiritual food.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Solving Problems
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your Glory and Honor.
—Alcoholics Anonymous
Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life - our way of dealing with problems
In recovery, many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it. We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions.
A problem doesn't mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn't mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through.
In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn't, our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.
Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; recovery means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we're not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we'll grow in necessary ways in the process.
Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appear, we'll have the resources necessary to solve them.
Facing and solving problems, working through problems with help from a Higher Power, means we're living and growing and reaping benefits.
God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver.
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your Glory and Honor.
—Alcoholics Anonymous
Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life - our way of dealing with problems
In recovery, many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it. We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions.
A problem doesn't mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn't mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through.
In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn't, our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.
Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; recovery means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we're not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we'll grow in necessary ways in the process.
Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appear, we'll have the resources necessary to solve them.
Facing and solving problems, working through problems with help from a Higher Power, means we're living and growing and reaping benefits.
God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth.
--Lao-tzu
Imagine yourself with a pile of dirt in front of you and building plans for a one-story structure. It would be easy to think, "Oh, this is impossible - it will never get done."
But the architect hires people to help. A foundation is built, and then the frame. From there, step by step, the rest is filled in. We have all watched a building take shape and become a finished product.
Building plans are like the goals we all have. We want to be a better person or friend, a better artist or athlete. Reaching a goal is like putting up a building. Once we have a goal, we need a strong foundation to support us. All of us need the help of others to reach our goals.
You are reading from the book:
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