ADMITTING MISTAKES
"A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
Alexander Pope
Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibility for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.
When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn't it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realized that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I'm wrong and apologize for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.
One day at a time ...
I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.
Sharon
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Each Day a New Beginning
I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political career of my husband.
—Pat Nixon
Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
—Pat Nixon
Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
Now, for some of us, the future looks like a
blank wall. It is time to carve out a plan for ourselves, yet how do we
decide where we want to go? And how do we get there? The program says,
"Live one day at a time." Our friends say, "Take one step at a time."
We have chosen to do something about the
circumstances we found ourselves in, or we wouldn't be reading these
words. We can stop for a moment and reflect on the many changes thus
far. We are already on our way. We have taken a number of necessary
steps. What an exciting adventure we have embarked upon! And we will be
helped all along the way.
We can trust our inner yearnings, the ones we may
have stifled in times past. We can realize our hearts' pure desires, if
we seek guidance.
My time has come. I can mold my future. I will take each day, each experience, and let it draw me to the next important step.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Being Honest
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won't make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won't make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Trusting Ourselves
What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a disservice not to heed the leadings and
leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that
these leadings and leanings draw us into God's rich plan for us?
We will learn. We will learn by listening,
trusting, and following through. What is it time to do?... What do I
need to do to take care of myself?... What am I being led to do?... What
do I know?
Listen, and we will know. Listen to the voice within.
Today, I will listen and trust. I will be helped to take action when that is needed. I can trust God and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
What if?
I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.
"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.
"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."
What ifs can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What ifs are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.
What ifs are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.
The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.
Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
What if?
I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.
"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.
"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."
What ifs can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What ifs are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.
What ifs are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.
The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.
Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
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