~ RECOVERY ~
Survival is nothing more than recovery.
Dianne Feinstein
As a very young child, I had a loving relationship with my Higher Power. I talked to God all the time about the things I didn't understand. I asked for His help in making me a better person, daughter, granddaughter, etc.
Then, as happens in dysfunctional families, things got worse. Being the youngest, I became the scapegoat for people who didn't know how to express anger and pain properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways to express my feelings. I also began to turn against my Higher Power. Why wasn't He helping me? Why was He letting me be so unhappy? Why wasn't He answering my prayers? Why hadn't I awakened thin yet?
It took me many years to destroy my relationship with God, but thankfully, it only took a few years of the Twelve Step program for me to rediscover my former relationship with Him. As my eating disorders have been lessened and abstinence has become the norm in my life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power in my life today. I truly feel as if I've gained something I once lost. Thanks to recovery, I've also gained things I never had or don't remember having. I have a peace, serenity, acceptance, understanding and love that I can never remember experiencing before. The more I trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards of recovery become mine.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I'm currently experiencing. When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I've come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power's time, not mine.
~ Rhonda H. ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
In a culture
where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of
effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal
freedoms are dissipated.
—Viola Spolin
Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.
In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.
Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.
I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.
—Viola Spolin
Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.
In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.
Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.
I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Willing to Go to Any Lengths
To achieve success in this program, we are willing to go to any lengths. We want to stop eating compulsively more than anything else. We are willing to take the steps, which led to success for hundreds of others who have gone before us.
When we put abstinence first in our lives, then we are willing to experience periods of hunger and craving as our appetites and our bodies adjust to the new food plan. We are willing to eat according to need, not greed.
In times of stress and difficulty, we are willing to go to any lengths to stay on our program. This may involve going to extra meetings, making more phone calls, spending more time reading the literature and meditating. Whatever it takes to keep us abstinent is what we are willing to do.
Most important, we are willing to turn our lives over to the care of God, as each of us understands Him. As we let ourselves be led hour-by-hour and day-by-day, our lives fall into place, and we are given inner joy and serenity.
I pray that I may always be willing.
To achieve success in this program, we are willing to go to any lengths. We want to stop eating compulsively more than anything else. We are willing to take the steps, which led to success for hundreds of others who have gone before us.
When we put abstinence first in our lives, then we are willing to experience periods of hunger and craving as our appetites and our bodies adjust to the new food plan. We are willing to eat according to need, not greed.
In times of stress and difficulty, we are willing to go to any lengths to stay on our program. This may involve going to extra meetings, making more phone calls, spending more time reading the literature and meditating. Whatever it takes to keep us abstinent is what we are willing to do.
Most important, we are willing to turn our lives over to the care of God, as each of us understands Him. As we let ourselves be led hour-by-hour and day-by-day, our lives fall into place, and we are given inner joy and serenity.
I pray that I may always be willing.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Anger
Anger is one of
the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And
we're going to feel it when it comes our way - or else repress it.
—Codependent No More
If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.
In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.
Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.
Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.
—Codependent No More
If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.
In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.
Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.
Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
-- Step Two of Al-Anon
We come to believe in a better life through the powerful gift of other people - hearing them, seeing them, and watching the gift of recovery at work in their lives. There is a Power greater than us. There is real hope now that things can and will be different and better for our life and us.
We are not in a "do it ourselves" program. We do not have to exert willpower to change. We do not have to force our recovery to happen. We do not have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps just so we believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves - one who will get the job done in our life. This Power will do for us what our greatest and most diligent efforts could not accomplish.
Our Higher Power will restore us to a sane and beneficial life. All we do is believe.
Look. Watch. See the people around you. See the healing they have found. Then discover your own faith, your own belief, your own healing.
Today, regardless of my circumstances, I will believe to the best of my ability that a Power greater than myself can and will restore me to a peaceful, sane way of living.
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