~ FOCUS ~
It takes a long time to become young.
Pablo Picasso
By the time I came to the Twelve Step program, I had forgotten how to have fun. My whole world revolved around food--eating it, planning to eat it, or not eating it (and being very aware of it). When asked to go anywhere, what first came to mind is what foods I could eat there. I would agree to go only if I were in the mood for the kind of food that would be available, and if the person going with me would be interested in eating it too. Parties were all about the food, not who I'd see and meet. Family reunions were about Aunt Betty's specialty dish and Uncle John's grilled meats.
This focus on food made me forget how to have fun. I even forgot what I liked to do, if I ever knew. The truth is that fun came to mean eating, and it was what I liked to do.
In the recovery program, I've learned that I have choices; I just couldn't see them for the food! The first time I went to a party where I didn't even think about the food, but enjoyed all the new people I met while reconnecting with old friends, I was shocked when I ended up at the refreshment table. The party was almost over, and I hadn't visited this area the second I walked in the door! What a relief! And what fun! I came home full of life and love and laughter. I hadn't felt so young in years.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will pray to keep my focus away from food and instead focus on life.
~ Rhonda ~
*************************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
Fear is only an
illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness --
the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.
—Jeraldine Sounders
We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die.
It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all.
I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life.
—Jeraldine Sounders
We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die.
It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all.
I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
************************************************
Food for Thought
No Amount Is Enough
For the compulsive overeater, one extra bite is too much and a thousand are not enough. No matter how much we eat, we are never "satisfied." We think we remember a time when a small extra treat made us feel completely satisfied and content, and we try desperately to recapture that sensation.
The more we eat, the worse we feel. Now, rather than satisfying us, the one extra, compulsive bite triggers an insatiable craving which drives us to consume enormous quantities of unnecessary food. Sometimes we stuff ourselves until we are exhausted, physically ill, or have run out of things to eat, but we are still not satisfied.
The more we eat, the more we want to eat. Each excess increases an already out of control appetite. Since no amount will ever be enough to produce the kind of satisfaction we seek, our only hope is to abstain from the first extra, compulsive bite. Honestly following a food plan and eliminating all excesses and binge foods will eventually bring our runaway appetites under control. Conscientiously working the steps of the OA program will day by day bring us the emotional and spiritual satisfactions, which we can never acquire from food.
Lord, show me how to work for true satisfaction.
For the compulsive overeater, one extra bite is too much and a thousand are not enough. No matter how much we eat, we are never "satisfied." We think we remember a time when a small extra treat made us feel completely satisfied and content, and we try desperately to recapture that sensation.
The more we eat, the worse we feel. Now, rather than satisfying us, the one extra, compulsive bite triggers an insatiable craving which drives us to consume enormous quantities of unnecessary food. Sometimes we stuff ourselves until we are exhausted, physically ill, or have run out of things to eat, but we are still not satisfied.
The more we eat, the more we want to eat. Each excess increases an already out of control appetite. Since no amount will ever be enough to produce the kind of satisfaction we seek, our only hope is to abstain from the first extra, compulsive bite. Honestly following a food plan and eliminating all excesses and binge foods will eventually bring our runaway appetites under control. Conscientiously working the steps of the OA program will day by day bring us the emotional and spiritual satisfactions, which we can never acquire from food.
Lord, show me how to work for true satisfaction.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
***********************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of Guilt
"There's a good trick that people in dysfunctional relationships use," said one recovering woman. "The other person does something inappropriate or wrong, then stands there until you feel guilty and end up apologizing."
It's imperative that we stop feeling so guilty.
Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.
Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests. Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.
We don't have to let others count on the fact that we'll always feel guilty. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt - earned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that holds us back from self care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We can separate another's issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.
Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side.
"There's a good trick that people in dysfunctional relationships use," said one recovering woman. "The other person does something inappropriate or wrong, then stands there until you feel guilty and end up apologizing."
It's imperative that we stop feeling so guilty.
Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.
Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests. Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.
We don't have to let others count on the fact that we'll always feel guilty. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt - earned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that holds us back from self care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We can separate another's issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.
Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
***************************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
The gift of love means this: I want to share with you whatever I have that is good.
--John Powell, S.J.
How loving are we, really? Do we keep score when we do favors for a friend, keeping in mind that we're owed one? Do we hoard rather than share a favorite treat, hoping to prolong our own feast? And the good mood, when it's ours, do we use it to help another raise her spirits or do we secretly gloat because we're "in a better place"?
The opportunity to respond with love visits us throughout each day. A smile, a kind gesture, including someone in a conversation, noticing a job well done, are acts of love, acts that connect our hearts, at least for a moment.
When someone has shared love with us in some form, we notice it and are moved.
You are reading from the book:
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
The gift of love means this: I want to share with you whatever I have that is good.
--John Powell, S.J.
How loving are we, really? Do we keep score when we do favors for a friend, keeping in mind that we're owed one? Do we hoard rather than share a favorite treat, hoping to prolong our own feast? And the good mood, when it's ours, do we use it to help another raise her spirits or do we secretly gloat because we're "in a better place"?
The opportunity to respond with love visits us throughout each day. A smile, a kind gesture, including someone in a conversation, noticing a job well done, are acts of love, acts that connect our hearts, at least for a moment.
When someone has shared love with us in some form, we notice it and are moved.
You are reading from the book:
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.