Recovery Meditations: December 7th

~ CHANGE ~

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we are not really living.

Gail Sheehy


Throughout my life, I have been terrified of change. To me, change meant abandoning one set of experiences which, although adverse, were at least familiar. I thought I'd be replacing them with another set of experiences which would surely be at least as bad, and which had the additional disadvantage of being unknown.

In this program, I was appalled to see a whole room of people who spoke enthusiastically, joyfully, about the changes that the program was bringing to their lives --not just in terms of released weight, but in so many areas of day-to-day living. Panic-stricken at the idea that I, too, would change, I talked about it after the first meeting with a dear friend.

"Hey," she smiled. "No one's forcing you. If changing gets too scary, you can always decide you want to stay put."

Armed with that slight reassurance, I decided I would go with the program until it got too scary.

In the course of the next weeks, as I maintained strict abstinence and began to work the Steps, strange things began to happen, imperceptibly at first. I found myself looking forward to getting up in the morning and adding all kinds of things to my morning ritual: body lotion, foot care, cosmetics. Amazingly, my life-long habit of nail-biting disappeared, and my nails are not only well-tended, but polished!

On the professional level, I started keeping a list of projects due, instead of relying on my sketchy memory. I hired someone to answer phones and to help keep my eternally messy desk more or less clear. Most important, I have started an honest reassessment of my relationship with my life partner, and have decided that it's not enough that this is the first relationship of my life that is free of physical abuse; I deserve to be loved and desired, and to have that love and desire expressed.

At a face-to-face program meeting this week, I read the Promises. I was amazed to hear a strong, confident voice--mine--saying "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I realized that I was changing. I love it!

One Day at a Time . . .
I will welcome change, for change is growth, and I will know that, now that I have placed my life in the hands of my Higher Power, any change will be for the better.

Sharon N.

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Compulsive overeating is a disease of the soul. We neglect ourselves in all areas of life as the addiction takes over..........to the exclusion of all else.  When we embrace recovery, everything changes, as Sharon N. is pointing out in this marvelous post.

When I decided to get into recovery myself, I had a bit of anxiety over how things would turn out. Who would I BE when I got thin? I decided, like Sharon, that if things got too scary, I could always stop & go back to my old ways.  As it turned out, my life improved dramatically in ALL areas, and although I entertained the idea of 'going back' a few times, I didn't. Life in recovery, even with all of its imperfections, beats the hell out of devoting my life to addiction.

When the food fog LIFTS, so many things become clear in our minds. The confusion is replaced with clarity, and the chaos is replaced with structure. The Food Plan stays in charge and, as a result, all of life becomes brighter & more joyful.

For today, I welcome change and the growth that comes with it.  Since I've placed my life in the hands of my Higher Power, I have nothing to worry about today.  My Food Plan is in charge of what goes into my mouth, and for that I am extremely grateful.

The worst day of recovery is better than the best day of life as an addict. Amen.

 Food for Thought

A Permanent Disability

Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it.

We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating.

When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control.

May I understand the full extent of my disability.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.