Recovery Meditations: December 20th

~ SPIRITUALITY VS RELIGION ~

Religion is a way for people to get to heaven, and
Spirituality is a way for people to get out of hell.

Anonymous Twelve Stepper


I was raised in a home that was strongly religious. All of its standards and rules were based on religion, and on the standards of a rigid God Who is perfect, and Who calls His followers to be perfect. My mother is a person who seemed to find her mission in life by telling people how far they fell short of that perfection. I learned very early that I did not and would never measure up; that being part of religion meant accepting my inability to excel at its tenets.

But when I came into this program, I began to learn about spirtuality. I learned about God from people who were not perfect, and who could accept themselves as they are. I learned about mercy and forgiveness from people with different faiths than my own; I learned about trusting God from people who did not even believe in a Supreme Being. What I learned has put "flesh" on the words of the Scriptures that I learned as a child. It has put life into my faith, for the first time, and it has helped me learn that I am worthwhile and acceptable just as I am.

One Day at a Time . . .
I give my life into the keeping of the God of my understanding, and know that my best is the least, and the most, that He expects from me.

Donna

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Each Day a New Beginning

Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself.
—Eleanor Roosevelt

Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.

Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.

We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.

I will congratulate others and myself today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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Food for Thought

A No Fault Illness

Formerly, we may have blamed our parents, a disappointment in love, economic insecurity, or a million other factors for our addiction to compulsive overeating. We probably spent much time and energy trying to figure out why we overate.

When we get honest with ourselves, we assume the responsibility for our own actions, instead of trying to shift it somewhere else. Many of us come to believe that we would be compulsive overeaters no matter what the circumstances of our lives. As we recover, we see that the why of our illness is unanswerable and unimportant. What counts is how we control it.

We do not continue to berate ourselves for having this illness, or consider ourselves physically, morally, or spiritually inferior for having contracted it. Blaming ourselves is as useless as blaming someone else. We accept the fact that through no one's fault we have the disease of compulsive overeating. Then we get on with the business of learning to control this illness with the help of our Higher Power and the OA program.

I blame no one for my illness.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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 The Language of Letting Go

Expectations of Others

It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.

It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling.

There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given.

It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected.

It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.

If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person's unavailability. We do this for ourselves.

It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.

The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.

Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation