Recovery Meditations: November 24th

PERFECTION

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being perfect and
beginning the work of becoming yourself."
Anna Quindlen

"Perfect"...to me that word sounds like: "Do it again. You didn't do it right." That's the message I get from the voices in my head. The messages of perfectionism tell me over and over that I did it wrong. It's a powerful weapon when you use it as a whip against yourself, just like negative messages when you look in a mirror. I have a choice every single moment of every single day to either pick up that whip and hurt myself, or to "get out of my own way" and be kind. I can choose to look in the mirror and be thankful, and to look at myself and feel love. It takes a lot of practice, but it is worth it.

If you love yourself more than you love anyone else, you can feel happiness again. You can create again. You can look at your shadow and say good things about it too! It's another beautiful you ~ unique and wonderfully made.

One day at a time...
I will celebrate the beauty of myself today and everyday.

~ Karen
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As a compulsive overeater, I fight with perfection all the time.  You know, the 'all-or-nothing' mentality? That's the train of thought (Karen refers to it as the voices in her head) that tells me I need to either starve myself & work out like a maniac, or stuff myself senseless & lay around on the couch like a slug.  If I can't do it 'perfectly', why even TRY? That's the set-up that allows me to indulge myself in my disease.  Addiction is sly & cunning. It tries to convince me that I am 'worthless' if I am not perfect.

Conversely, no human being can ever BE perfect; it is not in our make-up. Yet, I strive for something that is unattainable, raking myself over the coals because I can't and don't achieve it?  That's nonsense!

I work my program of abstinence to the best of my ability, avoiding sugar in all forms, 100%.  If I achieve that goal today, I recognize that behavior as 'good enough'.  Despite the fact that I may not have been 'perfect' with my food intake, I STILL managed to avoid my drug of choice and that is a WIN!

When I insist on perfection in life, I will ALWAYS fail.  So, for today, I instead insist on recognizing my good personality traits rather than focusing on my bad traits.  I AM good enough, I AM worthy, precisely because I am a child of God.