Eating For Mother
As babies and children, we made Mother happy by eating what she gave us. Since our emotions were closely tied to hers, when she was happy, we were also happy. We may have developed the mistaken notion that the more we ate, the happier Mother would be and, therefore, the happier we would be.
This illusion may be persisting into our adult life. On some level, we may not yet realize that no amount of food we can eat will make Mother permanently happy, anymore than it will make us happy. We may have eaten many times in the past in order to please Mother, rather than because we really wanted food. Subconsciously, we may still think we could please her by consuming more food than we need.
Working the OA program often brings to light other things we are doing in order to please someone else. Since each individual is responsible for his or her own happiness, there is nothing we can do to ensure the happiness of another individual. Realizing this on a gut level is a powerful tool for maintaining abstinence.
May I realize the/utility of eating to please someone else.
As babies and children, we made Mother happy by eating what she gave us. Since our emotions were closely tied to hers, when she was happy, we were also happy. We may have developed the mistaken notion that the more we ate, the happier Mother would be and, therefore, the happier we would be.
This illusion may be persisting into our adult life. On some level, we may not yet realize that no amount of food we can eat will make Mother permanently happy, anymore than it will make us happy. We may have eaten many times in the past in order to please Mother, rather than because we really wanted food. Subconsciously, we may still think we could please her by consuming more food than we need.
Working the OA program often brings to light other things we are doing in order to please someone else. Since each individual is responsible for his or her own happiness, there is nothing we can do to ensure the happiness of another individual. Realizing this on a gut level is a powerful tool for maintaining abstinence.
May I realize the/utility of eating to please someone else.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
********************************************
I began compulsively eating at the age of 5, after being overfed on a continuous basis. Mother was definitely not happy when and if I wasn't overeating. In fact, she'd feed me until I vomited & then feed me again. Since Mother is a chronically unhappy person, I felt it was MY job to make her happy. I could see a smile on her face if I ate enough. And so, bad habits were born and it's taken me 4 decades of yo yo dieting to get a handle on the whole food addiction thing.
In the end, it doesn't matter 'why', but it does help to know what's led us down the road to abusing ourselves with food. For me, this reading is spot on, while for others, it may hold no truth whatsoever.
The key to managing a food addiction, whether the 'why's' are known or unknown, is by adherence and willingness to follow a strict Food Plan. Once we become willing to DO that, then everything begins to change. The carb fog LIFTS, and allows us to SEE the truth, finally. Whilst overeating/using, we 'see' nothing but our own 'misfortunes' and self-pity. When we expose the addiction to the light of truth is when we begin to recover.
For today, I will not compromise MY Food Plan for anyone or anything. Period. I eat to keep my Recovery intact, not to please someone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.