A Weight Loss Journey

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 9th

Recovery Meditations: June 9th

PROMISES

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes."
Oscar Wilde

Before program, I would dwell in my mistakes. Experience, feh! I was all about self-abuse and feeling rotten about mistakes. My mistakes would certainly lead to overeating, since there was no other option in my mind. Even with years of therapy – with the same therapist – I still used eating as a soothing tool for those times when the mistake was enough to send me into a tailspin. Time and time again people would tell me I was too hard on myself, or that I should just relax and smile. Another mistake for me to internalize -- I couldn't even make a mistake right. I wonder now if I sometimes looked for things to call mistakes so I’d have a reason to feel as rotten as I did most of the time. Having been abused as a child wasn't enough, blaming other people for my pain never satiated me.

In my first OA meeting, I heard the promises and I started to feel something melt away. Some of the shame and self-pity evaporated into the room of men and women who also felt this lack of satisfaction. A room of men and women loved me because I struggled with the same addictive behaviors. I don't think I'd ever been loved for my weakness, and there is something powerful in that. When I make a mistake, I can think about my friends in OA who tell me that there is no wrong way, just another way.

One day at a time...
I can know that there are people who love me because I share in their weakness, and I can read the promises to realize that recovery is possible.

~ AJ

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Each Day A New Beginning

Many of us achieve only the semblance of communication with others; what we say is often not contingent on what the other has just said, and neither of us is aware that we are not communicating.
—Desy Safan-Gerard
When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.

How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue-our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them.

There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen.

I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words.

Food For Thought

Greedy Thinking, Greedy Eating

Contentment comes from being satisfied with what we have. Since "bread" is a symbol for material things, it is easy to use food as a substitute for the money and possessions we may avidly desire. Overeating can be a form of compensation for the enticing worldly wealth, which seems so attractive, yet is out of our grasp.

When we desire abstinence more than we desire material things, we are able to maintain it. When we allow material cares and concerns to obscure our spiritual goals, then our abstinence is in danger! Each of us is confronted with the choice of striving to satisfy physical cravings or working toward spiritual ideals. We cannot serve two masters.

We may have thought that we could get rid of our greed for food and continue to indulge our greed for other material things. Our Higher Power does not work that way. He demands nothing less than complete allegiance.

May I serve You without reservations.

The Language of Letting Go

Panic

Few situations - no matter how greatly they appear to demand it - can be bettered by us going berserk.
—Codependent No More

Don't panic!

If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under - not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.

Panic, not the task, is the enemy.

Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed. We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.

We may be facing a task at work, an improvement in ourselves, or change in our family life.

For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project. It is normal, when we look ahead at what needs to be done, to have moments of panic. Feel the fear, then let it go. Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once.

Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.

Panic will stop this process. Trust and guided action will further it. Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today.

We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure. Once we feel peaceful, we can begin swimming again, with confidence. Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time. If we can make one movement, we have progressed. If we get tired, we can float -- but only if we are relaxed. Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.

Today, I will believe that all is well. I am being led, but I shall only be led one day at a time. I will focus my energy on living this day to the best of my ability. If panic arises, I will stop all activity and deal with panic as a separate issue.

Today's Gift

We never know how high we are 'Til we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies. —Emily Dickinson

We are all capable of far more than we think we are. It's in the tough times, however, that we discover the depths of our strength, and it's then that we know that some power has enabled us to do what we thought we could not. Whatever we call that power, it is there for us when we need it.

To do what seems impossible, all we need to do is ask for the help we think we need. And we can look within, too, and summon our whole selves to the task at hand. With all that going for us, how can we fail? And when the tough work is over, we'll look back and know we've grown from the experience. And yes, our statures will have touched the skies.

When I am faced with a tough task, how do I respond?

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 8th

Recovery Meditations: June 8th

TOGETHERNESS
"The Praying Hands – let them be your reminder,
if you need one, that no one ever makes it alone."
Anonymous

"I don't need a sponsor; God and I walk alone."

"Why do I need to go to a meeting tonight? I'll be OK; I've got other things I need to be doing."

"I can't sponsor, I haven't worked enough of the Steps yet, and besides, I haven't got time; it takes all my time to do MY program."

When my thoughts drift in these directions, I am reminded of an old picture my grandfather had of "The Praying Hands" and of the story of two brothers, Albrecht and Albert Durer, both gifted in art.

The Durer family was poor and only one brother could go to art school, so they tossed a coin; Albrecht went to art school while Albert worked hard to pay his brother's tuition at the Academy in Nuremburg.

After a few years, the artist, Albrecht, said to his brother Albert, "I can afford for you to go to art school now, so I will finance YOUR education." But Albert, who had worked so hard in the dangerous mines, looked down at his work-worn, arthritic hands which had been smashed numerous times, and knew it was too late for him. He would never be an artist. So Albrecht painted his brother's hands and they are the hands we now see in copies of the painting ... two hands lifted up towards a Power Greater.

I know that I, too, have my Higher Power waiting to help me if only I seek the help I need. I am reminded of the friends I have found in the fellowship. I remember how it feels to hold the hand of a shaky newcomer at the end of their first meeting, or the hand of my sponsor who reaches out to give me comfort when I share a personal hurt.

One Day at a Time . . .
Alone I have proved again and again that I am defenseless over my disease, but together – TOGETHER - with my Higher Power and all of my fellows, I have a Power and Strength I never believed possible.
~ Marlene

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Each Day A New Beginning

The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh
The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest.

On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands. Our every concern, every detail of our lives will be taken care of, in the right way, at the right time.

We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy women. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized.

Life is a process. I will accept the variations with gratitude. Each, in its own way, blesses me.

Food For Thought

Trick or Treat

Our devious minds have a way of enticing us with visions of sugar plum "goodies" which can trick us into forgetting that we are compulsive overeaters. What may once have been a treat is now, for us, poison. The so-called treat can trick us into taking the first compulsive bite, which we know is always our downfall.

We need to change our thinking so that we no longer consider refined sugars and starches and former binge foods to be treats. Eating them has caused us great unhappiness in the past, and we will not be deluded into thinking that another time will be different.

Through the OA program, we are gaining the self-knowledge which arms us against the assaults of temptation. Our enemy is clever. We need the protection of our Higher Power and the strength that comes from working the Twelve Steps.

Protect me, Lord.

The Language of Letting Go

Fun

Have some fun - with life, with the day.

Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom.

Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spirit.

Become sensitive to lightness of spirit.

The journey can be an exciting adventure. Let yourself enjoy it.

God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.

Today's Gift

Caring is everything; nothing matters but caring.
—Baron Friedrich Von Hugel

The caring we receive from someone we love when we're sick can heal us just as much as the medicine we take. For children, Mom is usually the one who makes sure we get enough rest by having us stay in bed. By bringing us juice and aspirins she helps us keep our fevers down. She also lifts our spirits when she tells us a funny story.

Perhaps the next time a loved one is sick we can do the special and caring things. We can bring a favorite magazine or a cold glass of water, tell a joke, or just sit and be there for a while. Whether the sick person is a parent or a brother or sister, when we help care for another, we complete a circle of caring begun by a parent so long ago.

Does someone need my care today?

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 7th

Recovery Meditations: June 7th

COMPASSION

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."
~ George Washington Carver

This Twelve Step program works wonders on many levels. But one of the most noticible changes I've seen in my life has been in the area of compassion.

Eating disorders can really mess a person up. All of us who have the disease of compulsive eating, in no matter what form, have been laughed at, discriminated against, or generally overlooked by those who don't suffer from our disease. So, one would think that compulsive eaters would be more loving and understanding to their fellows. For the most part this is true. But I have seen compulsive eaters be just as cruel as our more normal-weight counterparts.

If we can mistreat each other, how can we ever expect others to treat us differently? We need to remember where we were in our disease, for there are others in that same situation. We need to see ourselves in the newcomers to our program, because we run the risk of returning to where they are now. "There but for the grace of God go I" takes on a whole new meaning when we apply that phrase to our situation.

Sometimes we see varying degrees of success in this program of recovery. We must each work our program, and allow our fellows to work their program. It's not up to us to take someone else's inventory concerning the success or failure of their program. We need only to keep our own side of the street clean, and to show compassion to those of our fellows who are struggling. After all, compassion was what prompted the founding of our fellowship in the first place.

One day at a time...
I will consciously practice compassion toward those who still suffer, because I remember where I came from on this path, and realize I could return there.

~ JAR

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Each Day A New Beginning

Without discipline, there's no life at all.
—Katharine Hepburn

Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, and angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution.

We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us.

When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction.

I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways.

Food For Thought

Perfectionism

Part of the ego reduction necessary to our recovery is the acceptance of the fact that we are not and never will be perfect. Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again.

Deepening acquaintance with our Higher Power is good insurance against perfectionism. We come to believe that He accepts and loves us as we are, and this gives us the courage and humility to accept ourselves.

We are not perfect, but we are growing. In spite of our weaknesses, we can serve others according to God's plan for our lives. Accepting our own limitations makes us more tolerant of the faults and weaknesses of those around us. Together, we progress.

I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect.

The Language of Letting Go

Into Orbit

It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER.
—Codependent No More
I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . .

These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs.

If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble.

This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us. t will be self-defeating.

We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized.

The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work.

Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit.

Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us.

We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will."

The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it.

God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.

Today's Gift

The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on.
—Jan Milner

There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter.

Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No.

What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed.

We are lucky in this life - our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering.

What laughter from yesterday can I remember today?

Monday, June 6, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 6th

Recovery Meditations: June 6th

EXPECTATIONS

“The best thing about the future
is that it only comes one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln

Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn't work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book "serenity is inversely proportional to one's expectations" and I know now how true this is.

Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don't turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.

One day at a time...
When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it's supposed to.

~ Sharon S.

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Each Day A New Beginning

From early infancy onward we all incorporate into our lives the message we receive concerning our self-worth, or lack of self-worth, and this sense of value is to be found beneath our actions and feelings as a tangled network of self-perception.
—Christina Baldwin

Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort.

But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step.

Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within.

Food For Thought

A New Boss

When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him, we have a new employer. From now on, we are working first of all for our Higher Power.

Before, we were probably motivated by egotism, the desire for personal power, prestige, and superiority. Since we were number one, we used our appetites to serve ourselves with the inevitable result that no amount of food, sex, or material wealth was enough. God did not create us to satisfy ourselves; He created us to serve Him.

Recovering a sense of stewardship may take time for those of us who have spent many years trying to gratify our own desires. We need to pause often each day to ask for God's guidance, so that the work we do, the activities we enjoy, and the thoughts we think may all serve Him. Under His direction, our talents and abilities develop and our appetites serve His purpose.

May my thoughts, appetites, and activities serve You.

The Language of Letting Go

The Gift of Readiness

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
—Step Six of Al-Anon

We progress to the Sixth Step by working diligently, to the best of our ability, on the first Five Steps. This work readies us for a change of heart, openness to becoming changed by a Power greater than ourselves - God.

The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful.

The defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life, and ourselves. But now they are getting in our way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed.

Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you.

God, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers to my life.

Today's Gift

A good anger acted upon is beautiful as lightning and swift with power. A good anger swallowed clots the blood like slime.
—Marge Piercy

How does it feel when someone tells us we should play basketball when we don't want to? Often, it angers us that someone else is telling us what to do. After we have been told we should do something many times, we begin to believe it and forget how we really feel. Even though we have forgotten what we wanted to do, we feel angry, often without realizing it. Such hidden anger can leave us feeling bad without knowing why.

It is important to know when we are angry, and to say so. There are healthy ways of expressing anger without blaming others. Saying we are angry, and thereby claiming it as our own feeling and not something others force on us, is a way to express it, which also affirms our right to be angry.

If there is anger in me today, can I express it correctly?

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 5th

Recovery Meditations: June 5th

HONESTY

“Our lives improve only when we take chances ~
and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
Walter Anderson

After the initial shock and realization that I am a compulsive overeater, it transpired that in order to recover, I had to get honest. This was -- and still is -- a painful process for me, yet it is an essential step towards my recovery.

First I had to admit that I wasn't in control of my life and that recovery couldn't be achieved unaided. As with most revelations, this was an uncomfortable truth to behold. I was also prompted through honesty to stop blaming everyone else for my unwillingness to help myself. I had to find conviction in my actions and not just emptiness in my words.

I conceded that I am not as perfect as I would like to think. I make mistakes and sometimes slip from the path of recovery, but with honesty comes acceptance that I am only human. This disease would deceive me into thinking that I am a failure when in fact it's my actions that have failed me. Like a magician who performs illusions for the crowd, this disease would have me think I have committed unforgivable sins. Honesty is the key to my recovery; it unlocks the chains that have imprisoned me for so long. It allows me to recognize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. It turns simple existence into life ~ and inner-conflicts into outward serenity.

One day at a time...
I will be honest with myself.

~ Sue G.

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Each Day A New Beginning

The level of anxiety I feel when an attractive woman enters the room is the cue informing me of my closeness to God at that moment.
—Anonymous

Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth.

It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman.

The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it!

I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living.

Food For Thought

Good Spirits

Many of us find that we need to avoid alcohol as well as refined sugars and starches if we are to maintain abstinence. The resemblance between compulsive overeating and alcoholism is striking. Frequently, alcoholics are compulsive overeaters and vice versa.

Both alcohol and sugar induce an artificial high which, in order to be maintained, requires increasing quantities of the addictive substance. Both food and drink may be used as escapes from the unpleasant realities of living, and the abuse of both involves similar character defects.

The spirits found in alcohol and sugar let us down. They are no substitute for faith in a Higher Power and the peace and joy, which that faith brings. Alcohol distorts our perception of reality and eventually acts as a depressant. God's Spirit in our hearts clarifies our understanding and gives us enthusiasm and deep joy.

I need Your Spirit, Lord.

The Language of Letting Go

Combating Shame

Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.
—Beyond Codependency
Watch out for shame.

Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.

We don't have to fall into their shame. Instead, we'll take the good feelings - self-acceptance, love, and nurturing.

Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. It's inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.

Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed "original shame" upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when we're all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Don't think . . . Don't feel . . . Don't grow or change . . .Don't be alive . . . Don't live life . . . Be ashamed!

Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.

Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.

Today's Gift

To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness.
—Sir John Lubbock

A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the butterfly will break through the cocoon and stretch its wings to meet the world.

We sometimes protect ourselves by withdrawing into a cocoon of our own. We stop talking to others and find ourselves growing lonely and longing for our friends. Perhaps it was some pain that made us retreat, but the pain of loneliness is greater. When we have the courage to break out of our cocoon, knowing and accepting the fact that we will experience both pain and happiness, we will change. We will become, for that moment, something new and beautiful like the butterfly.

What fearful thing do I have the courage to face today?

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 4th

Recovery Meditations: June 4th

FOURTH STEP SECRETS
“These are weighty secrets and we must whisper them.”
Sarah Chauncey Woolsey (Susan Coolidge)

When I came to the Recovery Group, I was wearing the pain of a lifetime of well-kept secrets - secrets about a childhood of poverty and secrets about a difficult marriage. No one ever saw my secret pain; I never shared it with anyone. But all could see the effects of the food I used as a coping mechanism.

Because of my willingness "to do whatever it takes," I shared these secrets with the person who took my 5th step. I later shared it with my sponsor and some of them later with a sponsee during her 5th step. Sharing this pain the first two times was like the bursting of a painful abscess, with poison being released. The poison that kept me living in resentful, negative thinking has been gradually replaced with gratitude for what I had and now have, and with the ability to experience joy in my many, many blessings.

One day at a time...
I will experience gratitude for the gifts I was given in my 4th and 5th steps and for the gifts of this program.

~ Karen A.

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Each Day A New Beginning

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.
—Anne Frank

Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them.

But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness.

Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays.

Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part.

Food For Thought

Avoiding Extremes

The Greek ideal of the golden mean is a concept, which we would do well to ponder. Most of us are extremists, as evidenced by our compulsiveness. We are all or nothing people, and our histories are full of times when we "couldn't believe we ate the whole thing."

Before coming to OA, many of us alternated between starving and bingeing. Either we attempted a diet so limited and stringent that it was impossible to follow for very long, or we indulged our appetites by eating everything that did not move.

OA endorses the practice of moderation. Learning it is difficult for most of us and something, which we have been unable to do by ourselves. The members who maintain their abstinence and have a strong program serve as guides and sponsors for those of us who are beginners. Old and new, all of us rely every day on our Higher Power to lead us in the way of moderation.

May I avoid extremes and learn moderation.

The Language of Letting Go

Trusting God

A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake.

They found a small lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would have money to remodel it. They had saved some money, so they moved into their lake home before selling their city home.

One year passed, and the city home didn't sell. My friends went through many changes during this time. They had times of patience and impatience. Some days they trusted God; other days they couldn't figure out why God was making them wait so long, why God wouldn't let them move forward with their plan. The doors just wouldn't swing wide open.

One day, a neighbor came to visit my friends. His home on the lake was my friends' dream home -- everything they wanted, plus more. The first time my friends saw this house, they admired it, wishing they could have a home just like it, but then they forgot about the idea. They didn't believe it could ever be possible.

The reason the neighbor came to visit my friends was that he and his wife had decided to move. He offered my friends the first option on purchasing his home.

My friends accepted his offer, and signed a purchase agreement. Within two months, they sold their city home and their small but adequate lake home. A short time later, they moved into the home of their dreams.

Sometimes, we experience times of frustration in our life. We believe we're on track, trusting God and ourselves, yet things don't work out. We have false starts and stops. The door refuses to swing wide open. We may wonder if God has abandoned us, or doesn't care. We may not understand where we're going, or what our direction is.

Then one day we see: the reason we didn't get what we wanted was because God had something much better planned for us.

Today, I will practice patience. I will ask, and trust, my Higher Power to send me His best.

Today's Gift

"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round! Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding their own business. Ah well! It means much the same thing."
—Lewis Carroll

No one helps a caterpillar become a butterfly. First it must crawl through the leaves as a many-legged creature, and then it weaves its own cocoon. Nature does its slow, daily work inside the cocoon and one day a butterfly emerges - and each butterfly is a different shape and color. No other creature can step in and speed up this process without hurting the butterfly.

Sometimes we humans confuse love with playing the part of God. We think we can speed up the natural growth of people around us. We interfere by telling them to do what we think best.

Sometimes the greatest love we can offer is to accept our loved ones the way they are. We need to remember that each caterpillar weaves a cocoon in its own time and becomes a butterfly in its own way. The wisdom of the universe is greater than our own.

How will I show my acceptance of others today?

Friday, June 3, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 3

Recovery Meditations: June 3rd

EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE

“Experience is not what happens to you.
It is what you do with what happens to you.”
Aldous Huxley

Every day is filled with experiences. I can choose to let them pass me by, or I can allow myself to learn lessons from them. It is easy to let the day pass by quickly and virtually unlived. If I refuse to stay in the present moment and choose rather to be filled with resentment, stuck in the past, filled with fear, or stuck in the future, life truly does pass me by. My experience truly has no value. But if I choose to learn lessons, stay in the present moment, and remain connected to my Higher Power, my day becomes experience, strength and hope.

Since coming to the program I have learned that I can share my experience, strength and hope in so many ways. A call to or from an OA friend gives me an opportunity to give and receive experience, strength and hope. I hear experience, strength and hope shared daily as I attend meetings. People share not only what has happened to them, but the great lessons that they have allowed their Higher Power to teach them. This is such an honor to be part of, an honor that I would not want to miss. I give and receive my experience, strength and hope on the loops where I share -- and receive shares -- on a daily basis. I am blessed to be a part of strong loops with great recovery and sharing. My sponsors frequently share their experience, strength and hope with me. I am privileged to have two sponsors with quality recovery who are members of The Recovery Group. I am so grateful for their input in my life and recovery. They have been such an important part of my life lessons. Every source of experience, strength and hope in my life gives me more encouragement to learn new lessons with every experience I have every day.

One day at a time...
I will find every opportunity to share my experience, strength and hope.

~ Carolyn H.

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Each Day A New Beginning

Follow your dream . . . take one-step at a time and don't settle for less, just continue to climb.
—Amanda Bradley

Dreams are common to us all. Dreams are special as well. We probably keep to ourselves many of our dreams for fear of derision or misunderstanding. Oftentimes we may have selectively shared some dreams, those we figured would get approval. The ones closest and dearest to us, the ones we feel most vulnerable about, we may choose to treasure to our hearts only, sometimes thinking, "If only you knew," sometimes wondering if we are being silly.

We are coming to believe that our dreams are spirit-filled. They are gifts to encourage us. Like a ship at sea needing a "heading" to move forward, our dreams lend direction to our lives. Our frustration may be that we can't realize a dream without many steps and much time. But life is a process of steps. Success in anything comes inch-by-inch, stroke-by-stroke, step after step.

My dreams today are meant to guide me. I will take a first step toward making the dream a reality.

Food For Thought

A Democratic Disease

There is nothing snobbish about our disease. It attacks individuals of every social and economic group. In OA, we meet the young and the old, male and female, rich and poor. One of the amazing things about an OA meeting is that it brings together in meaningful communication people from very disparate backgrounds. Even the generation gap closes when a common problem is the focus of genuine concern.

Thanks to OA, we experience warm fellowship. Perhaps for the first time, we come together with other people in a situation where game playing and ego building are at a minimum.

To be accepted for what we are and as we are is a healing experience. We may take off our masks and let down our defenses since we do not need to try to impress anyone in OA. As children of God, who happen to be compulsive overeaters, we are all equal.

We give thanks for OA.

The Language of Letting Go

Charity

We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money. Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons.

We may be ashamed because we have money and don't believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce us out of our money that the organization wants.

We can get hooked into giving money to our children, family members, or friends because we have earned or unearned guilt. We allow ourselves to be financially blackmailed, sometimes by the people we love. This is not money freely given, or given in health.

Some of us give money out of a sense of caretaking. We may have exaggerated feelings of responsibility for others, including financial responsibility.

We may be giving simply because we have not learned to own our power to say no when the answer is no.

Some of us give because we hope or believe people will love us if we take care of them financially.

We do not have to give money to anyone. Giving money is our choice. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized, manipulated, or coerced out of our money. We are financially responsible for ourselves. Part of being healthy is allowing those around us to be financially responsible for themselves.

We do not have to be ashamed about having the money that we earn; we deserve to have it - whatever the amount - without feeling obligated to give it all away, or guilty because others want what we have.

Charity is a blessing. Giving is part of healthy living. We can learn to develop healthy boundaries around giving.

Today, I will strive to begin developing healthy boundaries about giving money. I understand that giving is my choice.

Today's Gift

Men will find that they can prepare with mutual aid far more easily what they need and avoid far more easily the perils which beset them on all sides, by united forces.
—Baruch Spinoza

Three travelers stopped in a small town on their way to the city. They had tents to sleep in, but no food or money. They knocked on doors asking for a little food, but the people were poor, with little to eat and nothing to spare.

Cheerfully, they returned to their camp and built a fire. "What are you doing?" asked a bystander, "Building a fire with nothing to cook?"

"But we do have something to cook!" they said. "Our favorite dish, stone soup. We only need a pot."

"I think I can find one," said one of the bystanders, and she ran home to fetch it.

When she returned, the travelers filled the pot with water and placed two large stones in it. "This will be the finest soup we've ever made!" said the first traveler. "I agree," said the second, "but don't you think it would taste better with a cabbage in it?"

"I think I can find one," said another bystander. And so it went the whole afternoon until, by evening, the travelers had a hearty, fragrant feast, which they shared with the hungry townspeople.

What can I do with help today, that I couldn't do alone?

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 2nd

Recovery Meditations: June 2

STEP ONE
“Well begun is half done.”
Aristotle

The first time I took step one I knew that I was beat. Because I knew that I was beat, I knew I had to have help to survive. I sought and accepted that help in OA. I put the program into action. I completed the twelve steps and tasted recovery.

Over the years I have had to renew my step one, and each time I was convinced that I was not going to make it without the help in program. That spurred me on to complete the 12 steps many times. Step one is essentially what made me complete all twelve steps and go on to a fuller and fuller life in recovery. Without step one, there really was no need or motivation for steps two through twelve.

Recently I realized that step one is particularly necessary to do step twelve. I cannot help anyone without my Higher Power. I cannot control another's program. I cannot carry the message on my own, nor can I practice the principles in all my affairs by myself. Step one -- my powerlessness and my inability to manage -- is a great blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn to my Higher Power in all tasks great and small; it is what helps me to gain more and more ground in recovery.

One day at a time...
I will admit my powerlessness and my inability to manage, then I will turn to God Who will take me through my program and my life - with His power and His ability to manage.

~ Q

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Each Day A New Beginning

I have come to realize that all my trouble with living has come from fear and smallness within me.
—Angela L. Wozniak

We create problems for ourselves because we think we need to be more than we are. We fear that we are inadequate to the task before us, fear that another woman is more attractive, fear that the friends around us are bored by our presence.

Fear hinders us; it prevents full involvement with the experiences we are given to grow on. When we withdraw from a situation in order to save ourselves from failure, we have chosen instead another kind of failure: failure to take all we can from life; failure to be all that we can be. Every experience can move us forward in the understanding of ourselves. When we withdraw, we stay stuck in a world we need to leave behind.

I will not fear whatever looks like trouble today. Nothing I can't handle, in fact, nothing I can't grow from will come my way today. My inner strength can see me through.

Food For Thought

Different Strokes

Though we are all very much alike as compulsive overeaters, we are also individuals with individual differences. We may work the OA program differently and we may define abstinence differently. The only requirement for OA membership is the desire to stop eating compulsively. Each of us takes a separate path to that goal.

Through the program, we grow more tolerant of the people who think and act differently from ourselves. We share what has worked for us, and someone else is free to take it or leave it. Our attention and concern is of value to those we would help, but we cannot prescribe for them.

Some of us follow a doctor's guidelines for our eating plan. Some of us are not always willing to weigh and measure. Some of us eat smaller, more frequent meals instead of three a day. What is a binge food for one person may be perfectly fine for someone else.

We are all learning how to be responsible for ourselves. No one forbids us this or gives us permission for that. Our differences are God given, and we accept each other in love.

I need to be more tolerant.

The Language of Letting Go

Owning Our Power

We don't have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don't have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little. In recovery from codependency, we learn there's a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves.

When others act irresponsibly and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences.

When others talk nonsense, we don't question our own thinking.

When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it's okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan.

When others tell us that we want something that we really don't want, or someone tells us that we don't want something that we really do want, we trust ourselves. When others tell us things we don't believe, we know it's okay to trust our instincts.

We can even change our mind later.

We don't have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we're in authority. People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals. Our magic is not in them. Our magic, our light, is in us. And it is as bright a light as theirs.

We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don't have to become aggressive or controlling. We don't have to discount others. But we don't discount ourselves either.

Today, I will own my power with people. I will let myself know what I know, feel what I feel, believe what I believe, and see what I see. I will be open to changing and learning from others and experience, but I will trust and validate myself too. I will stand in my own truth.

Today's Gift

Thoughts, rest your wings. Here is a hollow of silence, a nest of stillness, in which to hatch your dreams.
—Joan Walsh Anglund

There is silence in the nest before an egg is hatched. The mother robin must sit quietly and warm them enough to be hatched. During this time, the mother concentrates only on her eggs. She does not let herself be distracted.

There is a time of silence before anything creative is born. And there is silence in the mind before an idea is discovered. A nest is a safe place birds can always return to and be at home. We all need such a nest of silence - a place where we can be quiet and safe, where we can let ourselves be held, and rest.

Often, our best ideas come out of these quiet moments. Times of silence are good for our souls. Just like the robin eggs hatching, so will dreams and solutions grow out of our own nest of stillness.

How well will I use my quiet time today?

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 1st

Recovery Meditations: June 1st

PERFECTION

“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God
as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.”
Mahatma Gandhi

I don't know why I used to think that if something wasn't done perfectly, it wasn't worth doing. I was an all-time overachiever and to fail at anything was totally unacceptable. Since I set such impossibly high standards, it was hardly surprising that I couldn't love -- or even like -- myself. I was constantly pushing to excel at those things I was good at, and I would beat myself up if I failed to meet my high expectations. I was especially critical of my body. I thought that if I had the perfect body, my life would be perfect.

When I came into the program I had to learn to not be so hard on myself. For the first time I began to realize that I was human and could still be loveable and worthy ~ even with all my imperfections and character defects. I am lovingly reminded by my sponsor and my friends in the fellowship to be gentler with myself. They remind me that I don't even have to do the program perfectly. I just need to do the best I know how for that day; then I can see progress one day at a time. I don't have to push myself to be perfect all the time in order to win approval or gain love. What a relief that is!

One day at a time...
I don't have to be perfect all the time. I just need to be the best me that I can be for today…and that's the way God intended me to be.

~ Sharon S.

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Each Day A New Beginning

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach; one can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.
—Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Being selective in choosing activities, in choosing friends, in choosing material possessions fosters unexpected appreciation. Too much of any one thing negates whatever specialness might have been realized. If we surround ourselves with acquaintances, we never fully share in knowing a few people well. If we surround ourselves with "toys," we never learn how we really want to spend our time.

When we don't take life slowly, piece by piece (one shell at a time), we avoid the greatest discovery of all, the person within. When our attention to persons, places, and things is deliberate and steady, the beauty within the object of our focus shines forth, and we, too, are made more beautiful in the process.

Today, I will take time to smell the flowers.

Food For Thought

Take an Idea Break

When we are bored or tired, it has been our habit to reach for something to eat or drink. Food has been our number one stimulant.

There are many sources besides the refrigerator to which we may turn for refreshment. We may stimulate our minds instead of our appetites by reading something worthwhile and thought provoking. We may listen to music or simply take a good look out the nearest window. In addition to intellectual stimulation, there are many sensory feasts besides food, which we may have been neglecting.

During our recovery from compulsive overeating, we grow less obsessed with food and more interested in the world around us. When our brains are no longer dulled with refined sugar, we take pleasure in new thoughts and ideas. The next time we find ourselves thinking about something to eat, let's try consuming something pleasant with our eyes, ears, or minds instead of our mouths.

May I enjoy fully all of the senses and abilities You have given me.

The Language of Letting Go

Directness

We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them.

Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they're feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it may catch everyone by surprise.

Directness saves time and energy. It removes us as victims. It dispenses with martyrdom and games. It helps us own our power. It creates respectful relationships.

It feels safe to be around direct, honest people. Be one.

Today, I will own my power to be direct. I do not have to be passive, nor do I need to be aggressive. I will become comfortable with my own truth, so those around me can become comfortable with me.

Today's Gift

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
—Helen Keller
Close observation of small children playing, ants moving across a dirt mound, a bird building a nest, a plane flying overhead, tomatoes ripening in a garden are quiet reminders of the many miracles surrounding us at any moment. Often we may wonder just how a carrot grows from a small seed. What enables a robin to fly south in the winter without getting lost? And then we remember the power of the Creator, and the presence of that power everywhere.

Just as the squirrel knows to collect nuts for winter, each of us knows we're always being watched over by God. When we remember that, we feel safe and happy wherever we are, at school, a new friend's house, home alone in the evening. Every moment is full of wonder, and God is always present.

What small things will I share with God today?