EXPECTATIONS
“The best thing about the future
is that it only comes one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln
is that it only comes one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln
Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn't work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book "serenity is inversely proportional to one's expectations" and I know now how true this is.
Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don't turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.
One day at a time...
When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it's supposed to.~ Sharon S.
*************************
Each Day A New Beginning
—Christina Baldwin
Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort.
But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step.
Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him, we have a new employer. From now on, we are working first of all for our Higher Power.
Before, we were probably motivated by egotism, the desire for personal power, prestige, and superiority. Since we were number one, we used our appetites to serve ourselves with the inevitable result that no amount of food, sex, or material wealth was enough. God did not create us to satisfy ourselves; He created us to serve Him.
Recovering a sense of stewardship may take time for those of us who have spent many years trying to gratify our own desires. We need to pause often each day to ask for God's guidance, so that the work we do, the activities we enjoy, and the thoughts we think may all serve Him. Under His direction, our talents and abilities develop and our appetites serve His purpose.
May my thoughts, appetites, and activities serve You.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
—Step Six of Al-Anon
We progress to the Sixth Step by working diligently, to the best of our ability, on the first Five Steps. This work readies us for a change of heart, openness to becoming changed by a Power greater than ourselves - God.
The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful.
The defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life, and ourselves. But now they are getting in our way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed.
Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you.
God, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers to my life.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
—Marge Piercy
How does it feel when someone tells us we should play basketball when we don't want to? Often, it angers us that someone else is telling us what to do. After we have been told we should do something many times, we begin to believe it and forget how we really feel. Even though we have forgotten what we wanted to do, we feel angry, often without realizing it. Such hidden anger can leave us feeling bad without knowing why.
It is important to know when we are angry, and to say so. There are healthy ways of expressing anger without blaming others. Saying we are angry, and thereby claiming it as our own feeling and not something others force on us, is a way to express it, which also affirms our right to be angry.
If there is anger in me today, can I express it correctly?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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