Daily Recovery Readings: December 9th

Recovery Meditations: December 9th

~ LIFE ~

Life is the movie you see through your own unique eyes.

It makes little difference what's happening out there.

It's how you take it that counts.

Dennis Waitley in "The Winner's Edge"

        Life is a very precious resource. Everyone has a different interpretation of reality, and people who are happier in life make the most of what they have been given, no matter how good or bad it may seem at the time.

        Everything happens for a reason. Although we may not understand something at first, we must seize the moment and make use of every single second that our Higher Power has blessed us with. Enjoy all the good times that you deserve, but remember to accept those down times for all the lessons that you will learn, too. It is important to remember the Serenity Prayer and keep on going.

        Make the most of each day but remember to stop and smell the flowers along the way. Today only happens once.

        One Day at a Time . . .

        Life is not a dress rehearsal, so have a good day, unless you have other plans.

        Natalie

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Each Day a New Beginning

To do nothing is failure. To try, and in the trying you make some mistakes and then you make some positive changes as a result of those mistakes, is to learn and to grow and to blossom.
  —Darlene Larson Jenks

Life is a process, one that is continuously changing. And with each change, we are offered unexpected opportunities for growth. Change is what fosters our development as women. It encourages us to risk new behavior and may even result in some mistakes. Fortunately, no mistakes can seriously hinder us. In fact, most mistakes give us an additional opportunity to learn.

Where we stand today is far removed from our position last year, or even last week. Each and every moment offers us new input that influences any decision from this moment forward. The process that we're participating in guarantees our growth as long as we remain conscious of our opportunities and willingly respond to them. We can be glad that the life process is, in fact, never static. always moving, always inviting us to participate fully.

I will have the courage to make a mistake today. It's a promise of growth. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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Food for Thought

Developing Our Potential

Abstinence is the key to developing our potential. For years, our illness has probably controlled our life and reduced our ability to function. Since so much of our energy was tied up in the mental obsession with food and the physical effects of overeating, we were unable to develop the talents and abilities we possessed.

Getting in touch with a Higher Power gives us contact with the source of our potential. Our self-centeredness kept us from believing in our capacity to be activated by a Power greater than ourselves. When we see and hear of the results produced by working the OA program, we develop faith in our own buried talents.

When food controlled our lives, we were using only a very small percentage of our actual potential for work, recreation, and relationships with other people. Through abstinence from compulsive overeating, we discover strengths, abilities, and energies we never knew we had!

Direct my efforts. Lord. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go

Asking for Help

It's okay to ask for help.

One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource.

We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends.

Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God.

It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we'll get the help we need.

There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that.

It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need.

"My problem is shame," said one woman. "I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was to ashamed. Isn't that crazy?"

We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need.

Today, I will ask for help if I need it - from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life - the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe of resources available to me. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Anticipate the good so that you may enjoy it.
--Ethiopian Proverb

Newcomer

I'm getting closer to 90 days - I'm in the 80s now. I'm excited. It's a miracle that I've been able to stay in recovery without interruption for this long. But I feel worried, too - or maybe I'm scared. I don't know what I'm feeling!

Sponsor

"Anniversary anxiety" is something many of us experience in recovery. For the preceding days or weeks, we're aware of the upcoming anniversary and its implications. We may anticipate speaking at a meeting or celebrating with recovering friends. Will we measure up to their expectation? To our own?

Perhaps we've been sharing our day count and enjoying the applause. As we approach 90 days, we may be afraid we'll become "invisible" at meetings. Depending on local program and group customs, we may be eligible to chair meetings. Are we going to have to handle more responsibilities than we feel ready for? The day of the anniversary itself, and the days following it, may be a setup for feeling as if we've graduated or won an athletic event. We may be afraid that recovery will disappoint us, once the cheering dies down.

It helps to know that this phenomenon is a common one. If you're experiencing it, one of the best antidotes is to share your concerns, both at meetings and with a sponsor. We've been there.

Today, I use the same tools of recovery that worked in the very beginning: meetings, sharing, reading recovery literature, and prayer. They work.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

 

 

Daily Recovery Readings: December 8th

Recovery Meditations: December 8^th

~ ENOUGH ~

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

The Bible, Book of Psalms

        As a practicing compulsive overeater, I was obsessed with getting my "fair share" and stockpiling everything from food to friends. I was afraid there wouldn't be "enough" in the future. One of the Promises of the program states that "Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." But just how can I calm down when the thought comes that there isn't enough, or that there won't be enough in the future?

        At a recent meeting, the speaker said that when he began to worry about his finances, he would ask himself, "Do I have enough money between now and the time I go to bed?" Since we're only alive in the moment, that's really the appropriate time frame. To me, that sounds like the best example of "One Day At A Time" thinking I've heard so far! Additionally, this could be applied to anything else I might worry about: "Do I have enough FOOD between now and bedtime?... enough LOVE?" You-fill-in-the-blank, because it isn't always just economic insecurity that haunts us!

        One Day at a Time . . .

        I'm learning to trust my Higher Power, which always supplies my needs. Whenever I start to worry, I can ask myself if I have enough to last between now and the time I go to bed, and cultivate trust and appreciation for the gifts I receive daily.

        Marilyn

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Each Day a New Beginning

I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring.
  —Dodie Smith

Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old settings and situations with new friends. Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before. And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is.

"We will not pass this way again," so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter, every experience. Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration.

Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today. Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers.

I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Food for Thought

Decisions About Food

We compulsive overeaters often find it extremely difficult to make decisions about food. We wonder if we are getting enough or too much, if we are eating the right kind of food, if we will be hungry tomorrow. The process of planning our three meals a day can be agonizing if we cannot decide which foods to choose.

Here is where a food sponsor can give us the assistance and support we need. Since someone who has traveled the road before us will be informed of our menus, we can relax and know that our decisions will be checked by an objective listener. As long as the choices we make fall under the food plan, which we have determined to follow, they will be good decisions.

Having written down our food plan for the day and having given it to our sponsor, we do not need to make any further decisions about food today. Recognizing that our obsessive worry about food is an illness, we will turn off further deliberations and work our program

Today I will make only those decisions about food that are necessary to my program. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go

Valuing Our Needs

When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.

Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.

Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.

Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.

Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.

Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

He who helps a friend in woe is like a fur coat in the snow.
--Russian Proverb

We came in from a very hard life when we came into recovery, kind of like coming in from a blizzard in Siberia! The old life was dangerous, cold, and lonely, and it forced us to use all our energy just to survive. Sooner or later it would have killed us. We were definitely in woe.

Someone - a family member, a friend, a boss, a probation officer - offered us a chance to get sober. That person saved our life, as surely as if he or she walked out into a blizzard and wrapped around us like a fur coat. Thanks to our Higher Power, we accepted the help this time.

In the future we will have the chance to help others who are still out there freezing in the blizzard of addiction. We can offer them the kind of help that saved our life. We can't make them accept our help though. We just keep it handy, like a fur coat, in case they reach out to accept it.

Prayer For The Day

Higher Power I am willing to help another addict. I will be ready when You put someone in front of me.

Today's Action

Is there an alcoholic or an addict in my life I wish I could help? I realize that my example is the best way to show them recovery. I will talk with my sponsor about this person and how I am best able to help him or her today.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

Daily Recovery Readings: December 7th

Recovery Meditations: December 7th

~ CHANGE ~

If we don't change, we don't grow.

If we don't grow, we are not really living.

Gail Sheehy

        Throughout my life, I have been terrified of change. To me, change meant abandoning one set of experiences which, although adverse, were at least familiar. I thought I'd be replacing them with another set of experiences which would surely be at least as bad, and which had the additional disadvantage of being unknown.

        In this program, I was appalled to see a whole room of people who spoke enthusiastically, joyfully, about the changes that the program was bringing to their lives --not just in terms of released weight, but in so many areas of day-to-day living. Panic-stricken at the idea that I, too, would change, I talked about it after the first meeting with a dear friend.

        "Hey," she smiled. "No one's forcing you. If changing gets too scary, you can always decide you want to stay put."

        Armed with that slight reassurance, I decided I would go with the program until it got too scary.

        In the course of the next weeks, as I maintained strict abstinence and began to work the Steps, strange things began to happen, imperceptibly at first. I found myself looking forward to getting up in the morning and adding all kinds of things to my morning ritual: body lotion, foot care, cosmetics. Amazingly, my life-long habit of nail-biting disappeared, and my nails are not only well-tended, but polished!

        On the professional level, I started keeping a list of projects due, instead of relying on my sketchy memory. I hired someone to answer phones and to help keep my eternally messy desk more or less clear. Most important, I have started an honest reassessment of my relationship with my life partner, and have decided that it's not enough that this is the first relationship of my life that is free of physical abuse; I deserve to be loved and desired, and to have that love and desire expressed.

        At a face-to-face program meeting this week, I read the Promises. I was amazed to hear a strong, confident voice--mine--saying "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I realized that I was changing. I love it!

        One Day at a Time . . .

        I will welcome change, for change is growth, and I will know that, now that I have placed my life in the hands of my Higher Power, any change will be for the better.

        Sharon N.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit.
  —Frances Marion

The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power - strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.

We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.

No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.

My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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Food for Thought

A Permanent Disability

Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it.

We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating.

When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control.

May I understand the full extent of my disability. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go

When the Time is Right

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.

We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.

Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.

It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.

While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.

Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.

Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It doesn't happen all at once.... You become. It takes a long time.
--Margery Williams

Our spiritual awakening is partly a process of becoming real. We're moving from the external controls of image and others' opinions to the internal controls of honesty, listening to our inner voice, and having true relationships. We are shedding the games that maintained our old style of life - "macho" or "hero" or "poor me."

In place of the old phony surface, we are developing a real relationship with ourselves. We are becoming more aware - of emotions, of need for rest, of violations of our values. Sometimes change comes in a flash of insight or a moment of sudden, piercing awareness, but more often it comes a little bit at a time. As we work the Steps, as we are true to our inner voice, as we keep returning to conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we get closer to our friends, we become more real to ourselves.

As I grow, I see that I was always real. I was just looking at the outside.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

 

Daily Recovery Readings: December 6th

Recovery Meditations: December 6th

~ FORGIVENESS ~

We realized that the people who wronged us were spiritually sick.
When a person offended we said to ourselves,
"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him?
God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous


This has been one of the most important paragraphs for me in recovery. I have used it for any type of hurt I have in reaction to another person. Besides my asking God to save me from anger, I ask God to heal all feelings I have toward that person that block me from having a closer relationship with the God of my understanding. For me, this has meant I have had to learn to forgive everyone who my thinking told me had injured me in some way. I was unable to do this no matter how hard I tried. I prayed to the God of my understanding to teach me how to forgive those others and to work with my heart to create that forgiveness. It involved a long process of discovering my part and the other's part; separating acts from people.

Once I had done this work and knew in my heart that God had given me the miracle to forgive these people, an interesting thing happened. During Step Four and Five work, my sponsor told me I also had to forgive myself. I discovered, by going through this process, that working through the anger and pain, I ended up also having forgiven myself. For me, it wasn't enough to tell another person all my Fourth Step. I had to feel the feelings in my heart and give them to God to heal. Then, after I truly forgave others I could forgive myself. I wasn't able to forgive myself until I gave it away to others.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that God will help me in anything I ask, the answer just may be different than I expected. When the miracle occurs I will be able to see God's hand in it.

Judy A..

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Each Day a New Beginning

Each day provides its own gifts.
  —Ruth P. Freedman

We are guaranteed experiences that are absolutely right for us today. We are progressing on schedule. Even when our personal hopes are unmet, we are given the necessary opportunities for achieving those goals that complement our unique destinies.

Today is full of special surprises, and we will be the recipient of the ones which are sent to help us grow - in all the ways necessary for our continued recovery. We might not consider every experience a gift at this time. But hindsight will offer the clarity lacking at the moment, just as it has done in many instances that have gone before.

We are only offered part of our personal drama each day. But we can trust our lives to have many scenes, many acts, points of climax, and a conclusion. Each of us tells a story with our lives, one different from all other stories and yet necessary to the telling of many other stories too. The days ahead will help us tell our story. Our interactions with others will influence our outcomes and theirs. We can trust the drama and give fully to our roles.

Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

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Food for Thought

Stretching

If we do only what feels good and what is comfortable, we do not grow. If we do not stretch our minds, we vegetate intellectually. If we do not discipline our bodies, we become physically flabby and weak. If we do not exercise our goodwill, we stay emotionally immature.

To settle for minimum achievement is to miss the satisfaction of accomplishing more than we once thought possible. It is trite but true that we never know what we can do until we try. Abstaining from all refined sugars and carbohydrates may have seemed impossible to us at one time. Accomplishing this, through the help of our Higher Power and OA, makes possible other achievements that we formerly may have considered to be beyond our reach.

In this program, the only way we can fail is by not continuing to try. By abstaining from compulsive overeating and working the Twelve Steps, we can stretch ourselves to a fuller extent of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual potential.

May I not be too lazy to stretch as far as I can. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go

Letting Go of Shame

Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another.

Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim.

Even if in recovery we fall prey to being victimized, that is not cause for shame.

The goal of recovery is learning self-care, learning to free ourselves from victimization, and not to blame ourselves for past experiences. The goal is to arm ourselves so we do not continue to be victimized due to the shame and unresolved feelings from the original victimization.

We each have our own work, our issues, and our recovery tasks. One of those tasks is to stop pointing our finger at the perpetrator, because it distracts us. Although we hold each person responsible and accountable for his or her behavior, we learn compassion for the perpetrator. We understand that many forces have come into play in that person's life. At the same time, we do not hold on to shame.

We learn to understand the role we played in our victimization, how we fell into that role and did not rescue ourselves. But that is information to arm us so that it need not happen again.

Let go of victim shame. We have issues and tasks, but our issue is not to feel guilty and wrong because we have been victimized.

Today, I will set myself free from any victim shame I may be harboring or hanging on to. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Other people can't meet our needs if we don't tell them what our needs are.

We need tenderness and caring from our families and friends. We need their acceptance, understanding, and support. Sometimes we need their criticism and forgiveness.

Whatever our needs are, other people will probably be involved in getting them met. If we expect those close to us to read our minds and know exactly what we want without being told, we will probably be disappointed. Being honest and candid about our needs and feelings is an important goal of recovery. True, the other person may say no, but being able to make a reasonable request raises our self-esteem and opens the door to communication.

Today, I will take the risk of asking someone directly for something I want.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.