PERFECTIONISM
"Shooting stars come out of the darkness."
Unknown Author
Unknown Author
Today I am wading through guilt and shame as I try to step into the Light. My ankles are mired in unfulfilled visions and lost dreams. Childhood voices scream at me of my Potential. What are you doing? You're smart, talented, and beautiful. What are you doing with your life? You have the capacity for a great job, why do you loll in mediocrity? You're close to thinness, why can't you eat less? You could be beautiful, why don't you take more time with your hair, makeup, have manicures or plastic surgery? Why do you hover around "good enough"?
I remember when I had all these things, I wanted different things. The voices remind me I am not perfect, only a perfectionist. My goals remind me of what I lack. My tears remind me I am not what I preach. My Higher Power reminds me I am still on the easel, and grateful for my journey. My darkness reminds me I live in the Light.
One day at a time...
I seek the light of recovery that is seeking me.
~ Dodee
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Katherine Anne Porter
Each of us has miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. We no doubt felt hopeless many times. We no doubt pleaded, aimlessly and to no one in particular, for help. And then it came. Many of us probably do not know just how. But we can look around at one another and appreciate the miracle in our lives.
We still have days when the going is rough. Days when we feel twelve years old, unable to handle the responsibility of our lives, in need of a mother to nurture us and assure us that the pain will pass. We can look to a sponsor on those days. We can look for someone else to help. We can also reflect on how far we've come. Gratitude, in the midst of distress, for all the gifts of recovery eases the pain, the fear, and the stress of the moment.
The miracles continue in my life. Every day offers me a miracle. Thankfulness today will help me see the miracles at work in my life and in the lives of other women on the road to recovery.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
Most of us find it impossible to maintain our abstinence and our weight loss if we do not continue to grow spiritually and emotionally. The Steps are not something we take once and for all and then put aside. We continue to work on ourselves.
It is possible to reach and maintain a weight goal, but the emotional and spiritual goals of the program are never fully attained. We keep striving for progress, in spite of temporary setbacks.
All of us need something to live for, something that captures our imagination and beckons us on to greater efforts. Achievement in the areas of study and work, commitments to family and community, development of talents and interests--all serve as motivation. Usually, though, we require something more to keep us going. When we become aware of the Spirit, which is constantly available to us through contact with our Higher Power, we are tuned in to the source of our abstinence and of our life.
May I remember to live by the Spirit.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
—Step Five of Al-Anon
Talking openly and honestly to another person about ourselves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical to recovery.
It's important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.
That's how we release our pain. That's how we release old beliefs and feelings. That's how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.
Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from others, and ourselves it is not just a step - it is a leap toward becoming healthy.
Today I will remember that it's okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that it's okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
—Henry Ward Beecher
Once there was a boy who always looked on the bright side and always expected the best. He expected to like brussels sprouts before he had ever tasted them, for instance, and to like his teacher on the first day of school. Because he had such a sunny outlook on things, he was rarely disappointed.
But the boy's father thought he wasn't realistic, so one Christmas he decided to test him. On Christmas morning there were many presents, all but one small one were for the boy's brother. The brother opened his gifts with glee - a train set, a toy robot, a cowboy outfit, even his own TV.
Through all this, the boy smiled expectantly, confident the contents of his small box would equal the splendor of his brother's gifts. When it was his turn he ripped the box open to find only a pile of hay and some very smelly animal droppings.
To his father's astonishment, the boy clapped his hands with joy and ran immediately to the backyard. "Yippee!" he cried. "There must be a pony here somewhere!"
If I expect the best, just for today, what wondrous things might happen?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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