A Weight Loss Journey

Monday, June 20, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 20th

Recovery Meditations: June 20th

STRUGGLE

“Our way is not soft grass,
it's a mountain path with lots of rocks.
But it goes upward, forward,toward the sun.”
Ruth Westheimer

I've been in a Twelve Step program for a while now. When I look back, I sometimes think how easy the journey has been to find the peace, serenity and love I've been given -- thanks to the program. I brought a lot of denial with me when I joined the program, and apparently I'm still in some denial. I'm so grateful to be where I am today that I have forgotten the struggles I've faced to get here.

No wonder some newcomers look at longtimers and think they'll never be able to get there! When I stretch my memory, I remember running headlong into the Fourth Step and thinking it the scariest thing I'd ever faced in my life. I know that first one was traumatic--holding my pencil to do it, getting the first page down, and admitting so many things that had been shaming me for decades. I usually don't think about that today. Now I know firsthand the cleansing of a good Fourth Step and I look forward to them as I peel the onion and find more defects.

When I look back over my journey, I can remember sitting in an emergency room using the slogan "One Day at a Time" for the first time. I changed "one day" to "five minutes" because it was all I could handle. But it got me through that day and the next two days. A few years ago I read that the slogans are the handrails to the Steps. I wish I'd known that before. For me to use that slogan when I did was an act of faith ~ and at the time my faith was shaky. After having proved to my satisfaction that there is a Higher Power out there who wants the best for me, I have faith now. Maybe this is why I look back on my journey and have a hard time finding the struggles. Maybe it's my new attitude of gratitude that keeps me looking to the positive rather than the negative. Whatever the reason, I'd like to say that
I struggled in the program, but it was worth it.

One day at a time...
I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity,especially through the bad times.

~ Rhonda

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Each Day A New Beginning

There were deep secrets, hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power.
—Deidra Sarault

There is magic in sharing ourselves with someone else. We learn from Steps Four and Five that what we thought were heinous acts are not unusual. Our shameful acts are not unique, and this discovery is our gift when we risk exposure.

Realizing how much we are like others gives us strength, and the program paves the way for us to capture that strength whenever and wherever we sense our need. Secrets block us from others and thus from God too. The messages we need to hear, the guidance offered by God, can't be received when we close ourselves off from the caring persons in our lives. They are the carriers of God's message.

How freeing to know we share the same fears, the same worries. Offering our story to someone else may be the very encouragement she needs at this time. Each of us profits from the sharing of a story. We need to recognize and celebrate our "sameness." When we share ourselves, we are bonded. Bonding combines our strength.

Silence divides us. It diminishes our strength. Yet all the strength we need awaits us. I will let someone else know me today.

Food For Thought

Head Hunger
Those of us who overeat are responding to distorted signals. When we consume food that harms rather than helps our bodies, we are eating in response to some irrational demand in our head rather than because of legitimate physical hunger. The mental obsession with food is an illusion, but one to which we cling with great tenacity.

When we feel "hungry," we need to stop and evaluate the signal. Is it coming from our stomach or from our head? Often, it is after a meal that we most strongly crave something more to eat. This is either because we ate so fast that our stomach has not had time to register satisfaction or because eating has awakened a giant, insatiable appetite for more. It is frequently our mind that wants more, even after our body has had quite enough.

Emotions such as fear, anger, and anxiety can trigger "head hunger." We need perception and insight to know whether the hunger comes from our body or our mind.

May I learn to respond to the legitimate needs of my body.

The Language of Letting Go

Relationship Martyrs

Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships.

We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we're talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates, or spouses. We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid, but we don't have to force ourselves through long-term or intimate relationships with these people.

We are free to choose friends, dates, and spouses. We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can't always choose to be around, such as relatives. This is our life. This is it. We can decide how we want to spend our days and hours. We're not enslaved. We're not trapped. And not one of us is without options. We may not see our options clearly. Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with.

God, help me value my time and life. Help me place value on how I feel being around certain people. Guide me as I learn to develop healthy, intimate, sharing relationships with people. Help me give myself the freedom to experiment, explore, and learn who I am and who I can be in my relationships.

Today's Gift

The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room, not to try to do or be anything whatsoever.
—May Sarton

A whole world can be seen through even the smallest window. Knowing this can help us slow down and enjoy everyday events. We can listen to the regular rhythms of letter carriers and school children, dogs and delivery trucks, city buses and song birds playing out a piece of their daily lives outside the window.

We can greet the letter carrier who comes up the walk, feed the robin who lands on the sill, wave to the kids who've found a shortcut through our backyards on their way home from school.

It is not necessary, today, for us to fill our lives with important meetings, gala parties, expensive treats, toys, or outings to be happy. There is a whole world to be discovered just outside the nearest window.

What worlds lie on the other side of my window today?

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 19th

Recovery Meditations: June 19th

KIND WORDS

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.”
Mother Teresa

How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings? They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room -- usually as close to the exit as possible. Their oversized coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes show the fear and anxiety that we all felt. Sure, we made it, and so can they.

I remember the elder who first said those magical words to me -- those two simple words -- "Welcome Home." The warmth and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people who looked very similar to me…but my eyes could not see that. They were filled with tears because of those two words. Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words for you, "Thank you.”

What can you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your meeting? Let us not forget that all-important first hug. I remember mine; do you remember yours? It felt good, I'll bet. So welcome the newcomer and let them know they are home.

One day at a time...
I will do my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship.

~ Danny

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Each Day A New Beginning

One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.
—Florence Scovel Shin

Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though.

Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, and respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle.

With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it.

Food For Thought

Taking Inventory

Blaming circumstances and other people for our difficulties, including compulsive overeating, is counterproductive. We cannot control external circumstances or other people, but we can work on changing ourselves. In order to change, we first need to be aware of the attitudes and characteristics, which get us into trouble. If we overeat or have a tantrum when we do not get our own way, then we need to learn how to function without demanding that everything should go according to our personal schedule and preference.

We take inventory in Step Four and we continue to take it in Step Ten. It is a valuable tool for our growth. The amazing result is that as we recognize and begin to correct personal defects, our relationships with others improve tremendously. With a positive change in our attitude and behavior, there is a corresponding change in the way other people respond to us.

Taking inventory involves recognizing our good qualities as well as our weaknesses. In OA, we measure our wealth not by what we have but by what we have given.

Teach me to give.

The Language of Letting Go

Making Life Easier

Life doesn't have to be hard.

Yes, there are times we need to endure, struggle through, and rely on our survival skills. But we don't have to make life, growth, recovery, change, or our day-to-day affairs that hard all the time.

Having life be that hard is a remnant of our martyrdom, a leftover from old ways of thinking, feeling, and believing. We are worthy, even when life isn't that hard. Our value and worth are not determined by how hard we struggle.

If we're making it that hard, we may be making it harder than it needs to be, said one woman. Learn to let things happen easily and naturally. Learn to let events, and our participation in them, fall into place. It can be easy now. Easier than it has been. We can go with the flow, take the world off our shoulders, and let our Higher Power ease us into where we need to be.

Today, I will stop struggling so hard. I will let go of my belief that life and recovery have to be hard. I will replace it with a belief that I can walk this journey in ease and peace. And sometimes, it can actually be fun.

Today's Gift

Jealousy is cruel as the grave.
—Song of Solomon

Most bushes and small trees need trimming every year. They have branches that hang out over the sidewalk and get in people's way. Sometimes the branches grow so long and low to the ground that the tree looks weighted down.

Jealousy is like an overgrown branch -it weighs us down. It is one of those feelings all of us deal with. We may be jealous of someone's looks or talent, or maybe even their good luck. Like the overgrown branches, jealousy sticks out all over and gets in other people's way as well as our own. It is a part of us we need to keep cutting back.

If we are good gardeners, we will get out the clippers. Seeing and talking about our jealousy is the best way to start using those clippers. If we do this, our own leaves will be healthier, and our blossoms will grow.

Is there someone I am jealous of? Can I use my clippers today?

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 18th

Recovery Meditations: June 18th

GUILT

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.”
Ayn Rand

I think that I was fed on guilt from the minute I was knee-high to a grasshopper. My mother's favorite saying was, "After all I've done for you..." I'd immediately feel guilty because of all that I perceived my mother had given up for me. As a result, I was given the message that love had to be earned and that as far as my mother was concerned, I had to do something to be worthy of her love. I felt like I had to be the perfect daughter my mother wanted. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough. My guilt grew even more.

Of course I know now that I didn't deserve that guilt and that I chose to take it on ~ but as a child I didn't know that. Thank goodness for the program which is enabling me to see what I deserve -- and what doesn't belong to me. I am realizing that most of the time it's other people's stuff and that I don't have to take that on.

One day at a time...
I will remember to only take on what is rightfully mine and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't deserve to.

~ Sharon

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Each Day A New Beginning

. . . we could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.
—Helen Keller

We chase after joy, like a child after a firefly, being certain that in joy all problems are solved, all questions are answered. Joy has its rewards, and we deserve them. But life has more to teach us.

We need to learn patience; through patience we come to respect time and its passage, and we are mellowed. We need to learn tolerance; through tolerance our appreciation of another's individuality is nurtured. We need to learn self-respect; self-respect prepares us to contribute more freely to our experiences, and we find wholeness.

Life's travails are our opportunities for lasting, enriching joy. The rough spots deepen our understandings. And these help us to bring joy to the lives of the friends near and dear.

I need not turn my back on joy. But I will be glad for all life's experiences. The panorama will sustain me more fully.

Food For Thought

Homesickness

There are certain foods, which we will always associate with home and which make us nostalgic to recapture the past. No matter how much we eat, we cannot go back home and again be the babies and little children we were. No food will satisfy our longing for the love, care, and safety most of us associate with home. Even (and especially) if our dependency needs were not met when we were young, eating unnecessary food now will not help.

As we grow in relationship with our Higher Power, we begin to believe that home lies ahead, rather than behind us. We begin to see that our homesickness is for a spiritual state instead of a physical place. Wherever we are, we are pilgrims and travelers, not sure of our final destination but drawn toward something more than what we know in this world. We sense that though we are in the world, we are not of it, that we are homesick for a spiritual fulfillment.

May our homesickness bring us closer to You.

The Language of Letting Go

Being Vulnerable

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.

Today's Gift

Let your conscience be your guide.
—Jiminy Cricket

Crickets sing on summer nights because it's their nature to do so. They don't think about whistling or trumpeting or sleeping or changing the world. They've figured out their role on earth, and they do it.

We are a bit more complex than crickets, and most of the time that's lucky. In most of our affairs it's our conscience more than sheer instinct that helps us choose those thoughts and acts and feelings that are right for us.

Each of us has that little voice inside, relentless as a chirping cricket, telling us what to do. Even in the middle of our toughest decisions, we always have within us the solution that is right for us. All we have to do is listen-and trust.

What does my inner voice say about today's decisions?

Friday, June 17, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 17th

Recovery Meditations: June 17th

VICES AND VIRTUES

"It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices have very few virtues."
Abraham Lincoln

In doing a tenth step daily, I am faced with my character defects -- and yes, even vices. While I may not be compulsively eating, I may over-indulge in any number of other things like talking, whining, or frenetic busy-ness. I have been told that in life I must learn to "take my foot off the gas." I have also been told that I am "too intense" or just "too much." I guess this means I am not moderate in all things (by a mile.)

This thought comforts me in all of this: at least I am in the game. If someone asks for my opinion, he or she will get it ~ straight from the heart or the hip, as they say. If someone needs a favor, I am apt to be excessive in performing it. If someone needs a friend, he or she often gets much more than a casual acquaintance in me. In essence, my being "too much in general" has its good side -- at least I am not asleep at the wheel. I am fully engaged in life.

One day at a time...
I will not forget that my zest for overindulging and overdoing-it-in-general has its counterpart in my zest for goodness and service. I am alive and kicking. I will not hate myself for being fully alive.

~ Q

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Each Day A New Beginning

Wisdom never kicks at the iron walls it can't bring down.
—Olive Schreiner

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times - yesterday, last week, today, and even tomorrow - we'll come face-to-face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation, is great. What a hard lesson it is, to learn we can change only ourselves! The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do, too.

Acceptance, after a time, smoothes all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will "loosen" love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish.

As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this program, we'll stand ready, as women, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help our sisters become wise through our example.

My lessons are not easy. But they will ease my way. Better days begin, today.

Food For Thought

Conflicts

To be alive is to have conflicts. We find ourselves in disagreement with other people and in conflict with ourselves. Often, the things we want seem mutually exclusive, such as more money and more free time, more food and fewer pounds.

Our Higher Power does not promise us freedom from conflict, at any rate, not in this life. Like all growing organisms, we struggle with opposing forces. Frequently, our overeating is an attempt to escape the conflicts, which we should be facing. Sometimes we need to be more self-assertive with those around us instead of futilely trying to suppress justifiable indignation with food. There are times when we need to fight for our legitimate requirements.

We cannot always resolve our internal conflicts without a long and difficult battle. Time and maturity are often necessary before a problem is seen in its proper perspective. Some problems we may expect to wrestle with as long as we live. Having faith in the light, even when we cannot see it, makes our darkness bearable.

Lighten our darkness, Lord.

The Language of Letting Go

Surrender

Master the lessons of your present circumstances.

We do not move forward by resisting what is undesirable in our life today. We move forward, we grow, we change by acceptance.

Avoidance is not the key; surrender opens the door.

Listen to this truth: We are each in our present circumstances for a reason. There is a lesson, a valuable lesson that must be learned before we can move forward.

Something important is being worked out in us, and in those around us. We may not be able to identify it today; but we can know that it is important. We can know it is good.

Overcome not by force, overcome by surrender. The battle is fought, and won, inside ourselves. We must go through it until we learn, until we accept, until we become grateful, until we are set free.

Today, I will be open to the lessons of my present circumstances. I do not have to label, know, or understand what I'm learning; I will see clearly in time. For today, trust and gratitude are sufficient.

Today's Gift

You will jump to it someday. Then you'll fly. You'll really fly. After that you'll quite simply, quite calmly make your own stones, your own floor plan, your own sound.
—Anne Sexton

A young man sat beside a whispering creek all day for years, never moving. The townsfolk who watched him wondered whether he heard the gurgling creek sounds, or felt the sting of insects, or saw the raccoons when they came at night to sip from the cool, dark waters.

One day the young man rose and dashed up the hill above the creek. There, using all the healing strength of the stream, which he had quietly absorbed over the years, he gathered stones. He arranged them layer-by-layer to fit the plan he had thought out by the creek, and feverishly he built his home. When done, he let out a brassy, booming holler of joy. Imagine the townsfolk's surprise when they turned their eyes to that lonely spot by the creek and saw a huge castle of stone above the place where the young man once rested.

What plans can I make during my idle hours today?

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 16th

Recovery Meditations: June 16th

MIRROR, MIRROR

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.”
Kahlil Gibran

As a child, I often looked in the mirror and wished I were a boy. I thought I was ugly, had a deep voice, and was a disappointment as a girl. Even as a young woman I could never enjoy my appearance. I never saw the truth in the mirror. I would always focus on my “problem areas” and feel devastated that this had happened to my body. I felt totally helpless and wanted to cry; but I didn’t cry ~ I ate instead. Compulsive overeating stripped me of my true self. It made me incapable of seeing the truth, feeling the truth, and perceiving the truth.

Since coming to OA the scales have fallen from my eyes. By reading the Big Book, going to meetings, interacting with my sponsor, and working the steps, I have been able to see things as they are. Now I see my true self in the mirror and I can deal with life as it is. I can feel my feelings and know that they are neither right nor wrong and they will pass and change with the wind. This healing has cleared space in my mind and spirit for me to connect with my Higher Power. It has made room for me to grow, to love and care for myself, and to appreciate the body God gave me. When I doubt my perceptions, my feelings, or what I’m seeing in the mirror, I just surrender and remind myself that God has given me new eyes and new tools for living my life. The 12 Steps of OA shine a light into my soul and show me the truth in all areas of my life and recovery.

One day at a time...
I will look at myself ~ in all areas of my recovery ~ and know that what I am seeing is the truth because the light of OA and the 12 steps are guiding my life today.

~ Karen

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Each Day A New Beginning

The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It's a perpetual wound.
—Maureen Duffy

We live in one another's company. We grow to yearn for one another's company at a deeper level. The yearning reciprocated, opens the way to a love relationship, a relationship both blessed and torn by intimacies.

It's human to long for love, to want to shower it and receive it. But the pain of waiting for it doesn't match the pain that accompanies its arrival. Love heightens our sensitivities. Any separations, any discrepancies, physical or emotional, wound the partners in love. The pain that accompanies never having something is less than the pain of projected loss after its arrival.

Love should bring only happiness, we mistakenly think. But love, giving it and receiving it, beckons us to bare our souls, to expose our hidden selves. The fear of rejection, the anxiety that we'll be rejected "when they know the real me" is large and looms over our shoulders.

How lucky we are to have this program, these Steps, which if practiced in all our affairs will prepare us for love and loving. They will help us to live with the pain of love, knowing that it increases our humanity - that it deepens our awarenesses and thus, heightens our appreciation of all of life.

The pain of love increases my rapture.

Food For Thought

Satisfaction Comes from Inside

Why do we continually expect to be satisfied by taking in and possessing things from the outside? Amassing material goods and possessions more often than not stimulates rather than satisfies our appetite. What we do and contribute satisfies us more than what we have and consume.

When we are at peace within ourselves and in contact with our Higher Power, we make fewer demands on the outside world. When we are able to use our abilities in productive work and can give of our emotional and spiritual strength to other people, we feel replete.

Nothing from the outside can bring us happiness if we are at war with ourselves. Chronic dissatisfaction indicates that we have not turned our will and our lives over to God's care, but are still trying to run the show egotistically. Complete surrender opens the way to satisfaction.

I want to surrender to the inner needs of my spirit.

The Language of Letting Go

Feeling Good

Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; boundaries simplify life.
—Beyond Codependency

There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good.

When we are willing to take some risks and begin actively doing so, we will enhance the quality of our life.

What do we like? What feels good? What brings us pleasure? Whose company do we enjoy? What helps us to feel good in the morning? What's a real treat in our life? What are the small, daily activities that make us feel nurtured and cared for?

What appeals to our emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical self? What actually feels good to us?

We have deprived ourselves too long. There is no need to do that anymore, no need. If it feels good, and the consequences are self-loving and not self-defeating, do it!

Today, I will do for myself those little things that make life more pleasurable. I will not deny myself healthy treats.

Today's Gift

Being alive is being creative. You need do nothing but affirm your aliveness.
—Gay Bonner

What does it mean to be alive? Does it mean merely breathing, eating, and moving around, or is there more to it? Being alive can mean different things to different people. To some, it's sewing a baby quilt for a new life about to be born. To others, it's singing, or walking, or running. Still others find it in the exhilaration of skiing, or the tropical splendor they find when scuba diving.

Each of us has our own favorite activity that lets us feel our creativity and vitality, that lets us feel a part of the larger world. Two gifts these activities leave us with are joy and energy. Joy is one of the most creative forces we can call on, and energy gives us the power to do it well.

What will my creative activity be today?

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 15th

Recovery Meditations: June 15th

PERFECTIONISM

"The wise man, the true friend the finished character
we seek everywhere and only find in fragments."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like a spider, perfectionism builds its web through every fiber of my life. My perfectionism leads me to a host of other character defects. When I expect people to be perfect, I can be plagued with self-absorption. When I think of myself as "better than them," I practice being judgmental towards others ~ especially when I see behaviors that I'd never do. It also leads to my defects of self-criticism and self-loathing. I begin to hate myself for all the things that I can't do perfectly. I'm afraid to try things for fear of not doing them perfectly and looking like a failure.

Perfectionism leads me to procrastination and sometimes paralysis. This obsession for my wanting something to be just right -- or put in just the right place -- causes all sorts of feelings that can overwhelm me. Mostly it's a fear of what another might think of me if I owned this thing or put it in that illogical place. I learned as a child that being perfect meant that I was validated as a human; therefore my perfectionism is hard for me to be willing to let God remove.

One day at a time...
I will become willing to let God remove my defect of perfectionism. I will forgive myself and others for not being perfect. I will focus on a person's best moment instead of zeroing in on a person's defects.

~ Pam

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Each Day A New Beginning

For many years I was so flexible I didn't know who I was, and now that I'm discovering who I am, I think, "OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one." But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated--no one is separate.
—Kathleen Casey Theisen

Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained.

Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can't filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make.

The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught.

Today's issues need today's fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit.

Food For Thought

Our Barometer

When we find ourselves preoccupied with thoughts of food, we know that something is wrong. Our obsession acts as a barometer, which measures emotional pressure. If we are out of tune with our Higher Power, if doubt, resentment, and egotism are taking over, then our disease symptoms begin to surface. It is time to stop and take inventory.

The experiences, which other compulsive overeaters share with us, give insight into our own behavior. We gain a sharper awareness of our own defects and are less prone to blame external circumstances for our hurts and difficulties.

If we are becoming obsessed with food again, or if we are rationalizing deviations from our eating plan, we need to carefully examine our emotional and spiritual life. Something is out of gear. Concentration on Steps Ten and Eleven is especially important when compulsive thoughts and behavior indicate that all is not well.

Make me sensitive to the state of my emotional and spiritual health, I pray.

The Language of Letting Go

Competition Between Martyrs

"Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that's different. That's worse!"

My pain is greater than yours!

What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what tremendous martyrs we are. And we won't be happy until we do!

We don't need to prove our pain and suffering to anyone. We know we have been in pain. We know we have suffered. Most of us have been legitimately victimized. Many of us have had difficult, painful lessons to learn.

The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others.

If someone begins trying to prove to us how much he or she hurts, we can say simply, "It sounds like you've been hurt." Maybe all that person is looking for is validation of his or her pain.

If we find ourselves trying to prove to someone how much we've been hurt or if we try to top someone else's pain, we may want to stop and figure out what's going on. Do we need to recognize how much we've hurt or are hurting?

There is no particular award or reward for suffering, as many of us tricked ourselves into believing in the height of our codependency. The reward is learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace, and fulfillment.

That is the gift of recovery, and it is equally available to each of us, even if our pain was greater, or less, than someone else's.

God, help me be grateful for all my lessons, even the ones that caused me the most pain and suffering. Help me learn what I need to learn, so I can stop the pain in my life. Help me focus on the goal of recovery, rather than the pain that motivated me into it.

Today's Gift

Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together.
—Edna O'Brien

Once in a while, we have days when we think the whole world is against us. A parent has reprimanded us, a brother broke our new game, or the teacher at school disciplined the whole class. We sometimes let our thoughts center on a cluster of bad moments and forget the good moments of the day.

We shouldn't forget about the two ducks we fed part of our sandwich to, the friend who made us laugh, or the gym teacher who praised the whole class. Deciding to think about these good moments can allow our spirits to rise and make the bad moments fade away.

After all, if life were all good moments, we would take them for granted. Let us accept the bad ones gratefully, then, as opportunities to appreciate the good.

What good moments can I remember right now?

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 14th

Recovery Meditations: June 14th

PEACE

"If you do not find peace in yourself,
you will never find it anywhere else."
Paula A. Bendry

No outside reality can bring me peace. In the past, I tried to find it in many things, including relationships, ownership, and my vocation. But none of these externals brought me real peace. I had the opportunity of having all of them stripped away by a crisis in my life. I had surgery and got an infection that required a long period of recovery and resulted in disability. Many of my relationships ended, my income was reduced drastically, my capacity for ownership was decreased greatly, and I could no longer work. Although it was a painful lesson, it has been good for my spiritual condition.

I have been forced to look inside myself and realize that true peace and joy are found within. It is not about externals. Once I realized that, I found a relationship with my Higher Power that was deeper and more intimate than before, and the peace in my life settled inside of me in even greater measure.

One day at a time...
I will look inwardly for the peace that I long for.

~ Carolyn H.

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Each Day A New Beginning

All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies.
—Liane Cordes

Believing this fully is difficult at times; for some of us, most of the time. But it is true. What each of us can contribute to the world is unlike every other contribution. Each talent is slightly different from every other talent. And they are all needed. We are all needed.

Creativity - any kind - writing, photography, cooking, childcare, weaving, managing, woodworking - nourishes the self that feels isolated and worthless. And as the self is nourished, it grows; it recovers.

Recovery means changing our lifestyle. It means reaching out to others and being there for one another. It means rejoining the human race by giving of ourselves. Our talents are the gifts the human race awaits, needs, in fact. Do we know our talents?

I will search out my secret dreams today. In them lie my talents. I will develop them. Help awaits me.

Food For Thought

Positive Addiction

Since we seem to have addictive types of personalities, we can make this characteristic work for us, rather than against us. We can develop life-enhancing habits - positive addictions.

The OA program is an example of positive addiction. We become habituated to writing down a food plan, attending meetings, making phone calls, and working the program. We replace the negative addiction to compulsive overeating with a positive commitment to abstinence.

Other activities, which we perform regularly take on the character of positive habits. Exercise is a healthy routine. Hobbies and creative self-expression can be habitual parts of our daily schedule. Whenever we choose a life-enhancing activity and perform it regularly until it becomes an ingrained habit, we are using our addictive tendency to build ourselves up rather than tear ourselves down.

Thank You, Lord, for positive addictions.

The Language of Letting Go

Letting Go of Timing

"When the time is right, child." When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?

We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we'll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

Be happy now.

Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.

Today's Gift

Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.
--J. H. Newman

Our fears lock us up if we let them. They can prevent us from tasting adventure, from experiencing new wonders. We are often terrified of unknowns and fret about what might happen if we try something new. We worry if new people will like us - if we'll fit in.

It is natural to be cautious about the unknown, and anything new is just that. But we can keep our caution from becoming fear by taking action, with the faith that we never encounter anything we can't handle in some way.

Unknowns are merely joys we haven't met. We hold the keys to our own cages and can free ourselves when we use our courage and inner strength to overcome our fears.

What new joy can I discover beneath my fear today?

Monday, June 13, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 13th

Recovery Meditations: June 13th

LONERS

"I never found a companion
that was so companionable as solitude."
Henry David Thoreau

When I am physically, emotionally or spiritually unfit, I find myself isolating. On the other hand, I also find there are differences between solitude and isolation. Granted, sometimes those differences are subtle; nevertheless, they are different. It only takes abstinence to clearly see the difference and unless one has experienced that state, I doubt if this can really be understood.

Isolation shuts us off, not only from other people, but from God Himself. We tuck in our tails and busy ourselves with whatever comes to mind and our sole purpose is to avoid human contact. Isolation is not good. When I am isolating, I feel shame and I risk overeating. While I may not do this consciously, I run a risk of depression. I also feel guilty and the negative thoughts run amok.

Solitude is not hiding from others as isolation can be. On the contrary, I can nourish myself by being in solitude. Because I have a creative nature, solitude allows me the freedom to explore and be as creative as God intends for me to be. If I don't allow myself solitude on occasion, I am in essence damming up the gifts God has given me. These gifts need the freedom of solitude to make them materialize and be all they can be. Because I have experienced the disease of compulsive eating and all the manifestations of this disease, I can clearly see the differences between solitude and isolation. I learned that I can be in a crowd of people and still be isolating. I can also be in a crowd of people and be in solitude. If I have spiritually and emotionally shut down, I would be going through the motions but deep down in my soul I would know that I'm isolating. When my spirit is free and I am working the program, one might glance at me and see me drifting off to a room where there is a piano and recapturing a moment of music ... or staring out a window at a view so beautiful that it takes my breath away ... or sipping a cup of coffee and observing those around me but not actively participating in their small talk but wondering who they really are.

One day at a time... let me remove myself from the pain of the seclusion of isolation and substitute the wonderful state of solitude that brings me such great joy and peace of mind.

~ Mari

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Each Day A New Beginning

Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly.
—Dr. Ann Faraday

Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is.

Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions.

Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries.

Food for Thought

Research

In OA meetings, we sometimes hear reports of "research" done by a member who breaks abstinence in order to find out whether he or she is still a compulsive overeater. The experiment invariably proves that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. Among the results are remorse, regained weight, and weakened control.

It has been said that we are like someone who has lost a leg. We do not grow a new one. We can, nevertheless, learn to live with our disability if we are willing to abstain and follow the OA program. Most of us find that we cannot go back to eating binge foods moderately, but we can avoid them. We are like the alcoholic who can lead a normal, satisfying life as long as he or she stays away from alcohol.

Further research is not necessary. By accepting our need for a disciplined eating plan, we can benefit from the experience of those who have been in the program longer than we.

May I remember that further research is unnecessary.

The Language of Letting Go

Hanging on to Old Relationships

We want to travel baggage-free on this journey. It makes the trip easier.

Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger, resentments, feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.

If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go around with that lesson before we are ready to move on.

We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?

Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago?

It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.

We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today.

Let go of your baggage from past relationships.

Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.

Today's Gift

Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split one boulder.
—Carl Sandburg

There is a fable about the sun and wind having a contest to see who can get the old man to take his coat off first. The wind blows fiercely, but the old man just pulls his coat tighter around him. Finally, the wind gives up and the sun comes out. The sun shines a steady warm light down on the old man, who soon takes his coat off.

More and better things are accomplished in this world by kindness and gentleness than by force. When we find ourselves most frustrated, it is often because we are trying to force certain things to happen. Our own patient and steady desire to grow, fed by the love and kindness of others, will not be stopped by anything or anyone. Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle bush that grows through granite.

What can I gain by gentleness today?

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 12th

Recovery Meditations: June 12th

EXPECTATIONS
“It’s astonishing in this world how things don’t
turn out at all the way you expect them to.”
Agatha Christie

My life has been strangled by expectations ~ expectations I’ve held for myself; expectations others had of me; expectations I had of others; expectations I had for my life; and expectations I had of the God of my understanding. Again and again, my expectations were not met ~ and I was angry. I felt grossly let down and I was filled with resentment and shame. Eventually I became consumed by a toxic sense of angry and depressing apathy. If nothing turned out as I expected, why bother? I’d held so tightly to my expectations that they choked the life out of my soul. They condemned me to an existence of futility, frustration, selfishness, and despair. I thought that my expectations were realistic and “right”; therefore each variance from my expectations seemed a violation of the natural order of things.

Since beginning my Recovery work, I’ve come to recognize that I virtually believed that I was God. I thought I knew what was “best”, what was “right”, and what was “supposed” to happen. Though I am sometimes resistant, I am learning to let go of my expectations. I am learning to change my focus from my finite understanding to the mysterious and omniscient plan held safely and sanely in the hands of God. As I work my steps and learn from others, I find that I am relieved that my earlier expectations did not come to fruition.

One day at a time...
I surrender my former expectations and now expect only one thing: that as I work my steps, God will bring me increasing depths of sanity.

~ Sharon

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Each Day A New Beginning

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal.
—Catherine Ponder
Feeling joyful may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to "act as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel.

The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with.

I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet.

Food For Thought

More Than Bread

Without a Higher Power, we grasp at material things for security and inspiration. Since they do not give us the ultimate satisfaction we seek, we are left in despair. We need more than bread, but we do not know how to go about getting it.

OA leads us back to the spiritual basis of our lives, which we may have lost. All we have to do is be willing to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. When we see what has happened to others who have suffered from the same hunger that plagues us and who have found meaning and fulfillment, we let go of some of our doubt and cynicism.

Lack of faith is perhaps our greatest impediment to spiritual progress. We have been thing-oriented for so long that it is difficult to change. We can agree, however, that the food we overate was not enough to satisfy us. That there is a spiritual source of nourishment, which will be adequate for our needs, is a conviction, which grows stronger the longer we work the OA program.

I pray for the spiritual food which satisfies.

The Language of Letting Go

Spontaneity and Fun

Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun.

The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like.

Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation. One of the "normal" experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun. Another one is being spontaneous. We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun. And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun anyway.

We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Try some new activities. What would we like to do? What might we enjoy doing? Then, take another risk. Pick out a movie we'd like to see; call a friend, and invite him or her to go along. If that person says no, try someone else, or try again another time.

Decide to try something, and then go through with it. Go once. Go twice. Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.

Today, I will do something just for fun. I will practice having fun until I actually enjoy it.

Today's Gift

The more a diamond is cut, the more it sparkles.
—Anonymous
There is something of value to be found even in the worst of things. Consider the oyster. When a grain of sand penetrates an oyster's shell, it irritates the oyster, making it uncomfortable. The oyster relieves the pain by coating the sand with a soothing liquid. When this liquid hardens, a pearl is formed. The very process that healed the oyster creates a precious jewel for others to cherish and admire.

The way in which we deal with our own frustrations - painful though they may be - can make a difference. Pearls can be formed from our experiences, making us wiser and stronger, or grains of sand - anger, bitterness, resentment--can remain imbedded inside us. The choice is ours.

How can I turn my irritations into pearls today?

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: June 11th

Recovery Meditations: June 11th

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran

There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.

~ Karen A.

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Each Day A New Beginning

My lifetime listens to yours.
—Muriel Rukeyser

Our experiences educate us to help show each other the way. Others' experiences, likewise, will help still others. We need to share our histories. And the program offers us the way. There is no greater honor we can give one another than rapt attention. We each want to be heard, to be special, to be acknowledged. And recognition may will be the balm that will heal someone's hurt today.

A new day faces us, a day filled with opportunities to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. And the surprise is that we will hear a message just right for us, where we are now. A message that may well point us in a new, better direction. Guidance is always at hand, if only we listen for it. But when we are trapped in our own narrow world of problems and confusion, we scramble whatever messages are trying to reach us. And we miss the many opportunities to make another person feel special and necessary to our lives.

My growth is enhanced every time I give my attention fully to another person. And this process is multiplied over and over and over. I will be there for someone today.

Food For Thought

Our Security Blanket

Turning to food when we are afraid is a tendency shared by many of us. Since being fed reassured us as infants and children, we compulsive overeaters reach for something to eat when we are anxious or apprehensive. When the anxiety does not disappear, we eat more.

The desire for security is basic to all of us. Unfortunately, we often look for it in the wrong places. A fortress of fat is not much protection against the hurts and dangers to which we are all vulnerable as human beings. Overeating does not keep us safe from real or imagined threats.

We need to accept the fact that there is no such thing as absolute security. All of us are mortal and subject to hazards and destruction. Paradoxically, our security consists in relinquishing our lives to the care of our Higher Power. When we feel safely centered in Him, we have the courage to take risks and give up our worn-out security blankets.

I trust You to care for me, Lord.

The Language of Letting Go

Moving Forward

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.

Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

Today's Gift

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength.
—A. J. Cronin

There is always something to worry about. What if it rains tomorrow on the family picnic? What if the baby gets sick and we can't go? What if we can't find a shady spot for our lunch table? Will the water be too cold for swimming? Will the boat motor conk out in the middle of the lake? What if we forget the charcoal? Or the lighter fluid?

Today, while preparing the potato salad for tomorrow's picnic, all we need to know is whether the potatoes are cool enough to peel and slice. Our worries about tomorrow change nothing but ourselves, and they have nothing to do with

what we are doing right now. Tomorrow will become today soon enough, and today is the day we have.

Which of my worries belong only to tomorrow and should be left alone until then?