A Weight Loss Journey

Monday, January 18, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 18th

Recovery Meditations: January 18th

~ LOVING WORDS ~
One of the hardest things in life
is having words in your heart that you can't utter.

James Earl Jones

Many years ago I had difficulty in expressing feelings of love and caring and warmth and concern. Contrary to this, I had no difficulty in expressing criticism, unkind words or constant critiques. Over the years I have learned so much about myself and others ... and now I can express feelings to my friends and loved ones about everything.

Those who are imprisoned by emotional constipation do little to make life better for themselves or for others. To be able to look at someone in your life and tell them you love them is such a beautiful gift. To tell a store clerk that you like something about them makes their heart sing. To look a little child in the eyes and tell them they have a good heart and you admire them takes them through the rest of the day on wings.

One Day at a Time . . .
Here's to letting the words out of hearts.

~ Mari ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for a something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions.
—Laura Z. Hobson

We are corrupted. To be human is to be corrupted. Our corruptions interfere with our happiness at the very time we are seeking happiness. When we think if only we were prettier, smarter, had a better job, then we'd be happy, we are giving in to corruptions. And these corruptions stifle our growth. We are each who we need to be. We have a supporting role in one another's lives. We can teach and learn from one another.

Recovery is choosing to help ourselves and one another to be as we are; to quit making comparisons; to understand our equality as women; to celebrate our difference, knowing they give intensity to life's colors for us all.

I can celebrate our special and different gifts today. My heart will be lightened.

Food For Thought

Abstain or Overeat

For the compulsive overeater, there is always one primary choice to be made. Will I abstain or will I overeat? For us, there is nothing in between. If we have hundreds of pounds to lose or if we have reached and are maintaining our goal weight, the choice is still the same. It is the key decision we make many, many times each day.

We are free at each moment to choose which we will do. There is no magic, which will make us abstain, and there is no force, which can compel us to swallow food we do not need. The choice is ours alone.

No one graduates from OA. There is no point at which one can say, "This is it. I've got it made now." We are always aware of the fact that we are compulsive overeaters and are always one bite away from a binge. When we remember that abstaining or overeating is our primary choice, then other decisions become easier. To abstain is to choose life. To overeat is to choose death.

May I maintain constant awareness of my primary choice.

The Language of Letting Go

Gratitude

Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall.

Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences.

One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.

Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.

Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.

Today's Gift

The stream that was locked up for the winter now ripples and gurgles along its way.
—John F. Gardner

Winter presents us with a frozen world, silent, sometimes forbidding. It seems like such a harsh time, forcing us indoors, letting us out only when we're wrapped in extra woolens, extra boots, extra hats and mittens. But beneath the snow's blanket, the earth is resting. Just as we sleep at night, the earth naps, nurturing its roots and bulbs, replenishing its moisture and minerals, refreshing itself. Spring is the earth's first stirring; it opens one eye, then another, wiggles a toe, stretches, yawns. The earth rises, shaking leaves off, brushing twigs away. It sends new shoots up to welcome the day.

We, too, are part of nature, and as such we experience our own seasons. Sometimes we are happy, full of energy, always able to handle obstacles. When we are down, when things seem to be too much for us to handle, we must remember that it is natural and proper to feel that way, and that soon, without our even trying, a new season will lift our hearts.

When I feel low, what can I do best?

The Horse and the Mule

Traveling together, a horse sported a fine coat and a magnificent saddle with ornate decorations, while a mule was burdened with a heavy load. Its coat was matted and filled with burrs.

"Oh, how I wish I could be as beautiful and graceful as you are," the mule told the horse. "I wish, too, that I was as unburdened and carefree."

A few days later, a great war broke out and the horse went into battle while the mule carried supplies. During a skirmish, the horse was gravely wounded and lay dying upon the ground when the mule came upon him. It was then that the mule realized that in being himself, he had fulfilled his purpose and been kept safe.

The Moral of the story: Be secure in who you are.

You may look at others and what they have and wish you had the same characteristics or were in the same place as they. Ultimately, how you feel about who you are determines your level of self-esteem. Even though there are things you want to change about yourself, these things make up who you are today. No matter what your defects or imperfections, accept who you are in the present moment.

Today I will appreciate who I am and what I have.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 17th

Recovery Meditations: January 17th

~ PROCRASTINATION ~
Procrastination, more than anything else I can think of,
separates those who want to be successful from those who are.

Lee Silber

I would always intend to start everything 'tomorrow.' As a compulsive overeater I constantly promised myself the diet would start the next day, or if a weekend was approaching, then it would be Monday. When I first found this program I still had the same attitude: I would get a sponsor in good time, I would get a food plan next week, I'd read the Big Book and other program literature when I got a moment. I thought if I just kept going to meetings something will happen.

However, I found that procrastination does not work in program any more than it does outside. I no longer wanted to be the member who was constantly sharing what a dreadful week I had with the food and other aspects of my life.

Today I have a sponsor, I have worked through all the Twelve Steps -- I am still working and living the Steps -- I am in good contact with my Higher Power, have a good food plan which I am following religiously, and I have recovery to bring to my shares.

One Day at a Time . . .
When I make a decision I follow it through with action immediately.

~ Lilian ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.
—Anais Nin
How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time.

Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow.

Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there.

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Food For Thought

All We Have Is Now

We can only live now, this moment. We cannot erase the mistakes we made yesterday or bring back the good times we had. We cannot know what tomorrow will require of us, nor can we ensure future security and happiness. Now is what we have, and now is everything.

We can follow our food plan now. We can abstain this moment. We can deal with the problems, which confront us today as best we can, trusting God to guide us. We can be in touch with our Higher Power only in the present.

As we focus on the present moment, we live it deeper, and we derive a satisfaction that we did not know when we were regretting the past and worrying about the future. Whatever happens now is all I can manage and all I need.

Thank you; Lord, for this present moment.

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The Language of Letting Go

Acting As If

The behavior we call "acting as if" can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use.

Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine.

When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck. We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life.

Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over.

There are many areas where acting as if - combined with our other recovery principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do.

We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality.

Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances.

Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory.

God, show me the areas where acting as if could help set the stage for the reality I desire. Guide me as I use this powerful recovery tool to help create a better life and healthier relationships.

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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

There is no reality except the one contained within us.
--Herman Hesse

Claude Gellee painted lovely pictures of the English countryside. Europeans loved his landscapes, with their blue hues and mild distortions. But when the people went for the carriage rides in the country, they were disappointed because it didn't look the way Gellee had painted it. Then someone discovered that if you held blue glass up to your eyes and looked through it, the trees and hills and sky looked just like a Gellee painting! Soon everyone was looking through "Claude glasses" when they travelled.

We often let others do our seeing for us. We get lazy and rely on the images of television and movies, instead of really seeing with our own eyes. Our world becomes distorted and we lose sight of the natural beauty that surrounds us.

Each of us carries reality inside ourselves, and as we grow stronger within, we discover that we can see clearest when we trust our own eyes. There is a glorious world, full and rich, just waiting for us to glimpse it.

Will I see the world through my own eyes today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 16th

Recovery Meditations: January 16th

~ FORGIVENESS ~
Never does the human soul appear so strong
as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin

I want recovery from my disease of compulsive eating. Part of my program of recovery is asking forgiveness for past wrongs I've committed against other people. It isn't enough for me to make amends just to others, though.

Another aspect of forgiveness is that of forgiving those around me. I need to forgive them for what they may have done to me. Many times people don't know that they've hurt me and maybe triggered a binge, because I've covered up the pain with food. But if I forgive them, then I don't have that pain that I thought could only be soothed with food.

Finally, I need to forgive myself. I can be my harshest critic, and many times I, myself, have been the trigger for my binge. Besides, if I can find it in my heart to forgive others, then surely I can extend the same courtesy to myself.

One day at a time...
I will practice forgiveness in all its forms.

Jeff

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Each Day A New Beginning

I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all.
—Joanna Field

We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life.

We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn.

I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from.

Food For Thought

Act Your Way into Right Thinking

The OA program is one of action. For years, many of us have tried to analyze why we overate. The fact is that no amount of thinking will change our habits. To change, we must act.

We act by writing down a food plan, by picking up the telephone and calling a food sponsor, by going to a meeting. We act by buying the kind of food we need for our program. We act by planning our day so that we spend as little time as possible in the kitchen during those periods when we are likely to be tempted.

We act by walking away from food, which is not on our plan.

As we work the Twelve Steps, we take actions, which result in concrete character changes. As we take the right action, our thinking changes and right thoughts come. But first we must act. What actions shall I take today?

Lord, direct my actions.

The Language of Letting Go

Prayer

As a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character. A change in character, or a change in soul, is a real change.
—Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount

Erica Jong has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Praying and meditating are ways we take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciplines suggested by the Eleventh Step of Twelve Step recovery programs: Al Anon, CoDa, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and others.

Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion. Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit our life, our growth, and us. Praying is how we connect with God. We don't pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source.

We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs. We're learning to change our behaviors. But we're also learning to take care of our spirit, our soul, because that is where all true change begins.

Each time we talk to God, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our Higher Power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best.

Today, I will practice prayer and meditation. Whether I feel desperate, uneasy, or peaceful, I will make the effort to connect with my Higher Power, at least for a moment today.

Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea.
--Coretta Scott King

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth.

With the help of the Fourth and Tenth Steps, we are learning who we are. We have recognized our shortcomings, and we have defined the assets that make our lives productive and enviable. Each day we are getting closer to knowing more completely the "inner person" who is calm and centered, unruffled by the external activity.

I can be calm and centered today if situations get tense. My "inner self" will take my hand and give me the words I need.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Friday, January 15, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 15th

Recovery Meditations: January 15th

GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING

“I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God is something in all of us."
John Lennon

Like many people, I originally came to Program primarily seeking help with my compulsive overeating. My main concern was to gain control of my weight and my appetite. I was expecting some kind of diet program, but I found something quite different.

I already considered myself religious and didn't think I needed much help in this area. I also wasn't particularly interested in working on my shortcomings, but I was willing to overlook these "problem" areas of Program because I was so desperate for help.

Well, I did get my weight and appetite under control, but I got much more than that. Program's concept of being able to work with a God of my own understanding may have been the most radical and personally-enlightening theological tidbit I've ever had the pleasure of tripping over. It changed everything I thought I knew about spirituality and God. Through this shift in my understanding, my Higher Power began to change me and help me with my COE by gradually removing all of my past baggage and encumbrances.

Even though I've now reached my recovery goals, my purification continues daily, as does my spiritual growth. I went searching for a diet that actually worked and instead found a whole new way of life. Whoda thunk?

One day at a time...
I will continue to nurture my relationship with the God Of MY Understanding by working the tools of recovery.

~ Rob.

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Each Day A New Beginning

Everything is so dangerous that nothing is really very frightening.
—Gertrude Stein

Life is full of dangers and risks and challenges. We can choose to meet them fearfully or in a spirit of welcome. To choose fear, to say, "I won't take that risk because I might lose," is to prevent ourselves from ever winning. If we welcome the danger, the risk, or the challenge, we acknowledge that life is made up of losses as well as victories, of gains as well as pain.

Life holds the dangers as well as the rewards. We choose how we will act. Sometimes we may feel trapped in a cycle of fearfulness. If we examine our own part, will we find that we are neglecting to take a balanced view? Perhaps, through a fear of losing, we are missing many chances for satisfaction.

I will remember: I have the power to choose what my attitude will be toward this day's offerings.

Food For Thought

Slips

Each time we give in to our giant appetite and go off the program, it is just as hard to get back on as when we first began. If we forget that we are compulsive overeaters and think that we can handle a little extra food like a "normal" person, we are deceiving ourselves. For us, one extra bite invariably leads to another, and we begin to slide downhill back into despair.

The longer we wait to get back on abstinence, the harder it becomes. If we slip, we sometimes feel that since we haven't been perfect we might as well go ahead and eat a lot, since we have blown our food plan anyway. When we do this, we punish ourselves.

If a slip occurs, we need to put it behind us. It is over and done. We cannot undo it, but we can at this moment stop eating and start abstaining again. We do not need to wait until another day. Every moment we have the choice of abstaining or overeating. Which do you choose right now?

May I choose to abstain now and always.

The Language of Letting Go

Standing Up for Ourselves

We learn some behaviors have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices.
—Beyond Codependency

It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy to fight their battles, become righteously indignant, rally to their aid, and spur them on to victory.

"You have rights," we tell them. "And those rights are being violated. Stand up for yourself, without guilt."

Why is it so hard, then, for us to rally to our own behalf? Why can't we see when we are being used, victimized, lied to, manipulated, or otherwise violated? Why is it so difficult for us to stand up for ourselves?

There are times in life when we can walk a gentle, loving path. There are times, however, when we need to stand up for ourselves - when walking the gentle, loving path puts us deeper into the hands of those who could mistreat us.

Some days, the lesson we're to be learning and practicing is one of setting boundaries. Some days, the lesson we're learning is that of fighting for our own rights and ourselves.

Sometimes, the lesson won't stop until we do.

Today, I will rally to my own cause. I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate. Help me, God, to let go of my need to be victimized. Help me appropriately, and with confidence, stand up for myself.

Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

I am living out my life in accordance with my faith.
--Ruth Casey

Does faith in God guide your actions as it does Ruth's? It's certain our actions are guided by some set of beliefs. If our memories of past situations are troublesome, maybe it's because we allowed our behavior to be controlled by certain beliefs that did us harm. How might we define our beliefs for a friend today? Are we at peace with them?

Belief systems don't simply occur in our lives mysteriously. We consciously choose that which we adhere to, whether we realize this or not. Sometimes our families foisted their beliefs on us, even when they weren't comfortable to us. Until we were old enough to decide what fit us better, we may have had little recourse. Later, we may have adopted beliefs that matched those of our peers - even though these beliefs contradicted our personal ethics.

Acknowledging the existence of an underlying set of values gives us both security and relief. It means we don't have to spend many valuable hours worrying about the right thing to do in every situation. The actions that fit our belief systems will be obvious. Let's be willing to monitor how our beliefs impact the lives of those around us. It's never too late to consider changing them.

Today's experiences will reflect what I choose to believe. Does that promise me peace?

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 14th

Recovery Meditations: January 14th

~ RECOVERY ~
Survival is nothing more than recovery.

Dianne Feinstein

As a very young child, I had a loving relationship with my Higher Power. I talked to God all the time about the things I didn't understand. I asked for His help in making me a better person, daughter, granddaughter, etc.

Then, as happens in dysfunctional families, things got worse. Being the youngest, I became the scapegoat for people who didn't know how to express anger and pain properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways to express my feelings. I also began to turn against my Higher Power. Why wasn't He helping me? Why was He letting me be so unhappy? Why wasn't He answering my prayers? Why hadn't I awakened thin yet?

It took me many years to destroy my relationship with God, but thankfully, it only took a few years of the Twelve Step program for me to rediscover my former relationship with Him. As my eating disorders have been lessened and abstinence has become the norm in my life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power in my life today. I truly feel as if I've gained something I once lost. Thanks to recovery, I've also gained things I never had or don't remember having. I have a peace, serenity, acceptance, understanding and love that I can never remember experiencing before. The more I trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards of recovery become mine.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I'm currently experiencing. When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I've come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power's time, not mine.

~ Rhonda H. ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated.
—Viola Spolin

Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.

In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.

Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.

I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.

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Food For Thought

Willing to Go to Any Lengths

To achieve success in this program, we are willing to go to any lengths. We want to stop eating compulsively more than anything else. We are willing to take the steps, which led to success for hundreds of others who have gone before us.

When we put abstinence first in our lives, then we are willing to experience periods of hunger and craving as our appetites and our bodies adjust to the new food plan. We are willing to eat according to need, not greed.

In times of stress and difficulty, we are willing to go to any lengths to stay on our program. This may involve going to extra meetings, making more phone calls, spending more time reading the literature and meditating. Whatever it takes to keep us abstinent is what we are willing to do.

Most important, we are willing to turn our lives over to the care of God, as each of us understands Him. As we let ourselves be led hour-by-hour and day-by-day, our lives fall into place, and we are given inner joy and serenity.

I pray that I may always be willing.

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The Language of Letting Go

Accepting Anger

Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way - or else repress it.
—Codependent No More

If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.

In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.

Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.

Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

Thought for the Day

When we first came into A.A., a sober life seemed strange. We wondered what life could possibly be like without ever taking a drink. At first, a sober life seemed unnatural. But the longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. And now we know that the life we're living in A.A., the sobriety, the fellowship, the faith in God, and the trying to help each other, is the most natural way we could possibly live. Do I believe it's the way God wants me to live?

Meditation for the Day
I will learn to overcome myself, because every blow to selfishness is used to shape the real, eternal, unperishable me. As I overcome myself, I gain that power which God releases in my soul. And I too will be victorious. It is not the difficulties of life that I have to conquer, so much as my own selfishness.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may obey God and walk with Him and listen to Him. I pray that I may strive to overcome my own selfishness.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 13th

Recovery Meditations: January 13th

CHANGE
”If you would truly wish to understand
something, try to change it.”
Kurt Lewin

There is nothing more powerful to me than this one thought. My entire program teaches me to change the fellow who came in or he will surely drag me back out. Without change there is no hope. Without hope there is no peace or serenity.

The "how to" is simply and strongly told in the Big Book of AA. On page 28 it is plain that we must find and maintain a spiritual fitness in order to survive. Change is the key to open the door, and change is impossible without a power greater than ourselves. This, truly, is the easier, softer way. May you find Him now.

One day at a time…
I am willing to allow the God of my understanding to change the person I was into the person He wishes me to be.
~ Danny

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Each Day A New Beginning

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming . . . This all sounds very strenuous and serious. But now that I have wrestled with it, it's no longer so. I feel happy - deep down. All is well.
—Katherine Mansfield

All is well. In the midst of turmoil, let us remember, all is well; in the midst of the pain of self-awareness, all is well. The struggle of the turmoil, the pain that accompanies the lessons of self-awareness, are preparing us for becoming all we are meant to become. We each have a special gift to offer in this life. We will come to understand those gifts and be able to give them as we grow with the pain of self-understanding. All is well. Deep down happiness ripples, it's rippling to the surface of our lives.

My lesson for today is understanding, of myself and others. Happiness is the grade I earn each day of my "becoming."

Food For Thought

Overeating is Hell

When we fall into the trap of compulsive overeating, it is as though we are driven by some malevolent, diabolical force against which we are powerless. We know with our minds that we should stop eating, but by ourselves we cannot. A binge may start out pleasantly enough - just a taste here and there - but it eventually becomes torture.

Because we know what we are doing to ourselves, we feel guilty while we are bingeing. We hate ourselves because we cannot stop. The more we eat, the more uncomfortable we become physically and mentally. Clothes constrict and we are stuffed and bloated. Our minds begin to race along old, negative, and irrational tracks. Anyone who gets in our way can be the object of our anger. We lose control, we are separated from our Higher Power, and we are in Hell.

Let us not forget every day that the first compulsive bite opens the gates of Hell.

Lord, deliver me from the Hell of overeating.

The Language of Letting Go

Good Feelings

When we talk about feelings in recovery, we often focus on the troublesome trio - pain, fear, and anger. But there are other feelings available in the emotional realm - happiness, joy, peace, contentment, love, closeness, and excitement.

It's okay to let ourselves feel pleasurable feelings too.

We don't have to worry when we experience good feelings; we don't have to scare ourselves out of them; we don't have to sabotage our happiness. We do that, sometimes, to get to the more familiar, less joyous terrain.

It's okay to feel good. We don't have to analyze, judge, or justify. We don't have to bring ourselves down, or let others bring us down, by injecting negativity.

We can let ourselves feel good.

Today, I will remind myself that it is my right to feel as good as I can. I can have many moments of feeling good; I can find a balanced place of feeling content, peaceful, and good.

Touchstones

The perfection of innocence, indeed, is madness.
—Arthur Miller

We've all said, "I didn't do anything. Don't blame me; I didn't mean any harm." Overdevelopment of innocence contradicts our spiritual growth. The painful truth is, we do have an impact on other people. Many times we have cultivated innocence as a style, and it has stood in our way of being accountable.

We cannot be in a relationship without sometimes hurting the ones we love. Spiritual growth requires us to take action and to take responsibility for what we do. It is painful to acknowledge we made a mistake and hurt someone. But giving up our innocent style is constructive pain. It opens the possibility to correct our ways, make repairs, and be forgiven. Then we are in the mainstream of a hearty spiritual life.

May I have the grace to let go of my innocence by taking action and admitting my mistakes.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, we were living an unnatural life physically and mentally. We were punishing our bodies by loading them with alcohol. We didn't eat enough and we ate the wrong things. We didn't get enough sleep or the right kind of rest. We were ruining ourselves physically. We had an alcoholic obsession and we couldn't imagine life without alcohol. We kept imagining all kinds of crazy things about ourselves and about other people. We were ruining ourselves mentally. Since I came into A.A., am I getting better physically and mentally?

Meditation for the Day
I believe that my life is being refined like gold in a crucible. Gold does not stay in the crucible, only until it is refined. I will never despair or be despondent. I now have friends who long for me to conquer. If I should err or fail, it would cause pain and disappointment to them. I will keep trying to live a better life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may always call on God's strength, while the gold of my life is being refined. I pray that I may see it through, with God's help.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 12th

Recovery Meditations: January 12th

~ GUILT ~
Who I am is what I have to give.
Quite simply, I must remember that's enough.

Anne Wilson Schaef

For most of my growing up years, I was fed on guilt, or so it seemed. I always felt that in order to justify being worthy of what others did for me, I had to be the best at whatever I did. I would feel guilty for not meeting others' expectations. My self-esteem was virtually non-existent. I was always there for other people rather than being there for myself. It was no wonder I turned to food to help me cope.

Now, I'm grateful that it took the pain of all those years of compulsive overeating to bring me into this wonderful fellowship of people who accept me just as I am. I don't need to do anything to justify myself. Through working the steps, I have been able to let go of a lot of guilt and I see that, even with all my character defects, I'm still a very special and unique human being. My self-esteem has improved, and I learned that I need to take care of myself if I'm to be of help to others.

I still struggle with those defects from time to time, but with the support I find in this fellowship, I am becoming comfortable with who I am, and I can let go of the guilt. What a relief that has been!

I don't need to be just the person who is always there for others; I need to be there for myself. I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be.

One Day at a Time . . .
I don't need to be just the person who is always there for others;
I need to be there for myself.
I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be.

~ Sharon ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

It isn't sufficient to seek wholeness through men, it never was and it never will be for any woman, married or single.
—Patricia O'Brien

Most of us were encouraged from childhood on to "find a husband." The message, often subtle, was nonetheless there. And many of us did marry. However, no relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. Pinning our hopes on another person keeps us dependent; it keeps us in a "holding pattern." It keeps us from making those choices tailored to who we are and who we want to be.

Our recovery as women is closely aligned with our growth in decision-making, our choosing responsible behavior and activities, our personal achievement. We do, each of us, need to discover our own wholeness. We need to celebrate our personhood. We need to cheer one another on as women recovering from an addictive past, as worthwhile women in full measure.

I will respect my wholeness today. I will help another woman nurture hers.

Food For Thought

Gratitude

I am grateful to have found OA. Without it, I would still be floundering in despair. I would still be alone, without understanding friends, without purpose, and without hope.

I am grateful to be abstaining just for today. I do not have to worry about tomorrow, because if I live well today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

I am grateful for a new life, for new strength growing out of old weakness.

When I am full of gratitude, there is no room left for anger, envy, fear, or hatred. Nor is there room for pride, since when I am grateful I am humbly aware of my dependence on my Higher Power. Being filled with gratitude is ever so much better than being filled with food!

May I gratefully abstain today and every day.

The Language of Letting Go

Finding Balance

The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.

Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.

We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.

We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.

We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.

The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes.

Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.

Touchstones

I should be content to look at a mountain for what it is and not as a comment on my life.
—David Ignatow

We have recognized our self-centeredness as addicts and codependents. On the other side is the feeling of peace and well being when we are released from it. Self-centeredness caused us to take everything personally. We were hypersensitive to our surroundings, to other people, and to how they reacted. Yet, so often these things had very little to do with us. God sends rain for the just and the unjust.

When we can look at a mountain and lose ourselves in the sight, we are refreshed spiritually. But no mountain is necessary for this experience. When we listen to a friend and simply hear his perspective, when we pet a dog and just enjoy this loving creature, when we look at a sunset and drink it in for what it is - then we are growing.

God, grant me release from the oppression of my ego.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

Thought for the Day

The longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. Our old drinking lives were a very unnatural way of living. Our present sober lives are the most natural way we could possibly live. During the early years of our drinking, our lives weren't so different from the lives of a lot of other people. But as we gradually became problem drinkers, our lives became more and more unnatural. Do I realize now that the things I did were far from natural?

Meditation for the Day

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be grateful for the things I have received and do not deserve. I pray that this gratitude will make me truly humble.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 11th

Recovery Meditations: January 11th

~ FOCUS ~
It takes a long time to become young.
Pablo Picasso

By the time I came to the Twelve Step program, I had forgotten how to have fun. My whole world revolved around food--eating it, planning to eat it, or not eating it (and being very aware of it). When asked to go anywhere, what first came to mind is what foods I could eat there. I would agree to go only if I were in the mood for the kind of food that would be available, and if the person going with me would be interested in eating it too. Parties were all about the food, not who I'd see and meet. Family reunions were about Aunt Betty's specialty dish and Uncle John's grilled meats.

This focus on food made me forget how to have fun. I even forgot what I liked to do, if I ever knew. The truth is that fun came to mean eating, and it was what I liked to do.

In the recovery program, I've learned that I have choices; I just couldn't see them for the food! The first time I went to a party where I didn't even think about the food, but enjoyed all the new people I met while reconnecting with old friends, I was shocked when I ended up at the refreshment table. The party was almost over, and I hadn't visited this area the second I walked in the door! What a relief! And what fun! I came home full of life and love and laughter. I hadn't felt so young in years.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will pray to keep my focus away from food and instead focus on life.
~ Rhonda ~

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Each Day A New Beginning

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness -- the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.
—Jeraldine Sounders
We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die.

It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all.

I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life.

Food For Thought

No Amount Is Enough

For the compulsive overeater, one extra bite is too much and a thousand are not enough. No matter how much we eat, we are never "satisfied." We think we remember a time when a small extra treat made us feel completely satisfied and content, and we try desperately to recapture that sensation.

The more we eat, the worse we feel. Now, rather than satisfying us, the one extra, compulsive bite triggers an insatiable craving which drives us to consume enormous quantities of unnecessary food. Sometimes we stuff ourselves until we are exhausted, physically ill, or have run out of things to eat, but we are still not satisfied.

The more we eat, the more we want to eat. Each excess increases an already out of control appetite. Since no amount will ever be enough to produce the kind of satisfaction we seek, our only hope is to abstain from the first extra, compulsive bite. Honestly following a food plan and eliminating all excesses and binge foods will eventually bring our runaway appetites under control. Conscientiously working the steps of the OA program will day by day bring us the emotional and spiritual satisfactions, which we can never acquire from food.

Lord, show me how to work for true satisfaction.

The Language of Letting Go

Letting Go of Guilt

"There's a good trick that people in dysfunctional relationships use," said one recovering woman. "The other person does something inappropriate or wrong, then stands there until you feel guilty and end up apologizing."

It's imperative that we stop feeling so guilty.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.

Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests. Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.

We don't have to let others count on the fact that we'll always feel guilty. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt - earned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that holds us back from self care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We can separate another's issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.

Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side.

Today's thought for the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.
--Anonymous

For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people's feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents' happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.

We do not have this kind of power over our parents - over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.

Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us.

Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Daily Recovery Readings: January 10th

Recovery Meditations: January 10th

~ FORGIVENESS ~
Don't carry a grudge.
While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing.

Buddy Hackett

I have spent so much of my life wanting and, in my sickest moments, demanding amends from others. I truly have been treated poorly, wrongly and unfairly. But when I focus on how someone else owes me apologies and amends, I'm keeping myself in a negative attitude while trying to change someone else.

One of the best parts of Twelve Step recovery for me has been to let go of these grudges. I work on forgiving people. It sounds wacky, but forgiving them (not forgetting) allows me to let it go. One way I can find forgiveness is to know they never asked themselves how they could make me miserable today. From there, I can wish them well. It has been an absolute blessing to let go of these things rather than waiting for these people to make amends to me.

One day at a time...
I will remember that no one is intentionally doing harm to me. Forgiveness is a much more serene place.

Rhonda H.

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Each Day A New Beginning

A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you've laughed and had some fun.
—Catherine Ponder

Norman Cousins, in his book Anatomy of an Illness, describes how he cured his fatal illness with laughter. Laughter recharges our entire being; every cell is activated. We come alive, and full vitality restores us physically and emotionally. Many of us need both emotional and physical healing, but perhaps we've overlooked the times to laugh because we've been caught in a negative posture.

Unfortunately, negativity becomes habitual for many of us. However, it's never too late to turn our lives around, to laugh instead of complain. Choosing to see the bright side of life, to laugh at our mistakes, lessens our pain, emotional and physical. Laughter encourages wellness. It is habit-forming and, better yet, contagious. Bringing laughter to others can heal them as well.

We all want health and happiness in ourselves and others, and we can find it by creating it. The best prescription for whatever ails us may well be a good laugh.

Today I'll seek out those chances to dispense a little medicine.

Food For Thought

Decision

Someone has said that the hardest part of the OA program is making the decision to follow it. You can do just about anything once you make up your mind to do it! But the decision has to be firm and it must be the kind of commitment which involves our deepest self.

Many of us who are compulsive overeaters have spent our lives looking for an easier way to lose weight. We feel that there should be a magic solution somewhere, which will enable us to eat our cake and be thin at the same time. Our first reaction to the OA program is often one of dismay. It seems so drastic, and we protest that there must be an easier way.

The OA program is not easy. Life is not easy. Rather than solving the problems and difficulties in our lives, overeating multiplies them. We in OA have been offered a new way of life. Each of us decides every day - and many times every day - whether or not we will choose the new life.

May I decide to follow the program today.

The Language of Letting Go

Fear

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and. you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear can be a big stopper for many of us: fear of fragility, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of what others might think, fear of success. We may second-guess our next action or word until we talk ourselves out of participating in life.

"But I failed before!" "I can't do it good enough!" "Look at what happened last time!" "What if.. .?" These statements may disguise fear. Sometimes the fear is disguising shame.

After I finished the first two chapters of a book I was writing, I read them and grimaced. "No good," I thought. "Can't do it." I was ready to pitch the chapters, and my writing career, out the window. A writer friend called, and I told her about my problem. She listened and told me: "those chapters are fine. Stop being afraid. Stop criticizing yourself. And keep on writing."

I followed her advice. The book I almost threw away became a New York Times best seller.

Relax. Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures may turn out to be important learning experiences that lead directly to - and are necessary for - an upcoming success.

Feel the fear, and then let it go. Jump in and do it - whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be.

Today, I will participate in life to the best of my ability. Regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner.

Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Love is a positive feeling and if one cultivates this feeling in their life, they will surely free themselves from any unbalanced condition that surrounds them.
--Syd Banks

Anger, whether unfocused or triggered by a troubling experience or a hostile person, discolors our perspective through an afternoon or a full day, perhaps even a week. Our understanding of events is always directly related to the attitude we've chosen to harbor. No situation or person, however difficult, has the power to steal away our happiness without our passive consent.

So willingly we humans adopt negative attitudes. With grandiose egos, we resent rain pouring on our picnic plans or a friend's illness canceling an engagement. Our choices for actions, feelings, or attitudes are far greater than those we habitually turn to. And it's likely we know love least of all. But just as anger breeds more anger, love cultivates more love, and each life that's touched by love profits from it.

When we make a decision to practice love unconditionally - loving ourselves, our neighbors and co-workers, even the snarling strangers sharing our traffic jam, we'll quickly experience the miracle of love in our own lives.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey