Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Daily Recovery Readings: December 17th



Recovery Meditations: December 17th

PEACE

"We cannot find peace if we are
afraid of the windstorms of life."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
(Psychiatrist and author of 'On Death and Dying')


        My life always seemed so filled with difficulty. I seemed to have more than my fair share of traumas and losses. Why was I always being tested like this? It just didn't seem fair. I was so wrapped up in myself and the unfairness of my difficult life that I couldn't see that each of these harsh experiences had been opportunities for growth. Instead of bemoaning my fate and blaming people or situations for what seemed to me to be the cause of the current difficulty, I never looked at what part I had played in the whole situation, or the lessons I could learn from each of these experiences.

        It has often been said that God doesn't give us more than we can cope with. What I realized later, once I'd come into the program, was that each of these experiences had been a unique learning opportunity for me; they were a chance to grow and mature. I had been too stuck in self-pity and blame that I hadn't seen the wonderful gifts that I was being given with each new life experience. When I was able to open myself up fully to the lessons that I could learn from life, I became a whole person. It was then that the promises of the program begin to be fulfilled in my life, and I began to know serenity and peace.

        One Day at a Time . . .
        I will look for what lesson my Higher Power wants me to learn from life. I am then able to grow and change, and by doing so, I will come to know serenity and peace.

        Sharon S.

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Each Day a New Beginning
Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.
  —Madeline Bridge


We do reap, in some measure, at some time, what we sow. Our respect for others will result in kind. Our love expressed will return tenfold. The kindness we greet others with will ease their relations with us. We get from others what we give, if not at this time and place, at another. We can be certain that our best efforts toward others do not go unnoticed. And we can measure our due by what we give.

A major element of our recovery is the focus we place on our behavior, the seriousness with which we tackle our inventories. We can look at ourselves and how we reach out and act toward others; it is a far cry from where we were before entering this program. Most of us obsessed on "What he did to me," or "What she said." And then returned their actions in kind.

How thrilling is the knowledge that we can invite loving behavior by giving it! We have a great deal of control over the ebb and flow of our lives. In every instance we can control, our behavior. Thus never should we be surprised about the conditions of our lives.

What goes around comes around. I will look for the opportunities to be kind and feel the results. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Food for Thought
Remembering

We remember what we were like before we joined OA. We remember the confusion and despair, which threatened to overwhelm us. We remember the agony of eating binges which started so innocently and which ended in such pain.

As we recover from compulsive overeating, we remember events from the past in a new light. We see how our disease contributed to seemingly unrelated problems. We recognize feelings, which we were not aware of at the time. We understand the real reasons for some of our strange actions and mysterious fears.

At the same time that it keeps us anchored in the present, abstinence helps us to understand the past. Integrating our memories gives us strength and confidence for the future. What we always need to remember is that we are compulsive overeaters still, no matter how long we have abstained. Remembering this fact protects us from allowing our disease to become active again.

Today, I remember I am a compulsive overeaten. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go
Nurturing Ourselves

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts - a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch - touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
--Edward Everett Hale


We once heard someone say, "Knowing doesn't keep you sober, doing does." We got the point. Our actions, not strictly our knowledge, will help us stay sober. Recovery is a program of action, of doing something that will contribute to our recovery today.

All the knowledge in the world won't help us recover if we don't use what we've learned. Like good intentions, knowledge is only the beginning. Next, we must do - and not do - the things we've learned will help us make progress in recovery.

It's up to us to put the Steps to work in our lives today. We are responsible for eating right and exercising, going to meetings, finding a Higher Power, and praying or meditating to continually strengthen our spiritual lives.

Knowing what we must do is a good first step. Putting that knowledge into action, one day at a time, will bring us the joys of real recovery and a new life.

Today I pray that, through Your power, I have what I need to take action for my recovery.
You are reading from the book:

 


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Daily Recovery Readings: December 16th



Recovery Meditations: December 16th

COURAGE

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."
Raymond Linquist
(For many years, the pastor at the
Hollywood Presbyterian Church in Hollywood, California)


            A sponsor once asked me what I had against feeling good. I had no answer. I now see that in my sickness and ignorance I hung onto the familiar, what I perceived to be truth. Fear kept me from trying something new until I hurt bad enough to beg God for the courage to try a different way. I am amazed at how long I put up with a miserable existence, not even recognizing my fear of change. I understand now that, although physically full-grown, I am spiritually still growing and becoming.


            One Day at a Time . . .
            Do I have the courage to change? To even look at change?

            Jeremiah

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Each Day a New Beginning
To have someone who brings out the colors of life and whose very presence offers tranquility and contentment enriches my being and makes me grateful for the opportunity to share.
  —Kathleen Tierney Crilly

Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people - talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking.

Sharing our mutual vulnerabilities helps us see how fully alike we are. Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another woman say, "I understand. I struggle with jealousy too," lifts the shame, the dread, and the burden of silence. The program has taught us that secrets make us sick, and the longer we protect them, the greater are our struggles.

The program promises fulfillment, serenity, and achievement when we willingly share our lives. Each day we can lighten our burdens and help another lighten hers, too.

I will be alert today to the needs of others. I will risk sharing. I will be a purveyor of tranquility. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Food for Thought
Getting Well

Our recovery is always in process; it is never completed. If we think for a minute that we have conquered our disease and no longer have to consider it that is the time when we are in danger of slipping. Getting well is what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. Fortunately, we have guidelines and a fellowship to support us.

We are not required to think about our disease twenty-four hours a day. We do need to remember it when thoughts of food and eating arise. We also need to remember it when we find ourselves thinking the kind of thoughts or feeling the moods, which led to binges in the past.

Getting well is an adventure. We have moved out of the repetitious rut of past habits and are reaching into the unknown. There are times when we are anxious and fearful that we will not be able to make it. We are not alone. There is a Higher Power that guides us and an organization of friends who sustain us. The process of getting well is a privilege and a gift.

Thank You for the process of getting well. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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The Language of Letting Go
Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally
What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.

I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.

I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel.

Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one.

I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too.

I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe.

I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.

I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself.

Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Will Power - Our willingness to be used by a Higher Power.
--Alcoholics Anonymous


How many times have you wanted something very badly, only to realize at a later date that having it would have been a major disaster? Often we pursue a certain want or desire when the Universe has something entirely different planned - something, which is for our higher good.

For years, Ann wanted to run her own daycare center. An opportunity arose for her to buy a local business, but the deal fell through at the last minute. Bitterly disappointed, she could not understand why her heart's desire was denied her. Then one day, she and her husband found out about a business that was for sale in a city where they had always wanted to live. Within weeks, they bought the business and moved to their new location. Ann gave thanks that the first opportunity did not work out.

From our earthly vantage point, we can't always see the big picture. We are like mice running in an open field, sensing what is in front of our noses. Only from the perspective of the eagle can the entire landscape be viewed.

Fortunately, there is a part of yourself that can see like the eagle. You can turn over your life and your plans to that higher vision, and then say with assurance, "It's all God's work. It's all in God's hands. And I am at peace with this."
You are reading from the book:



 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Daily Recovery Readings: December 15th



Recovery Meditations: December 15th

~ACCOMPLISHMENT~

The central fact of our lives today is the absolute
certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts
and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous.
He has commenced to accomplish those things for us
which we could never do by ourselves.

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous


        The one thing that I am absolutely certain of today is that our Creator, God, lives in my heart and works miracles in my life daily. The biggest miracle, I believe, is having an awareness of Him, and knowing that He is in control of all that happens in my life. His power is infinite. If I were not aware of God, then I don't believe I could work this program. It is the realization that God can accomplish anything that is helping me to work daily toward achieving my goal of continued abstinence and a changed attitude regarding food.

        I cannot change what's in my heart, but God can. I cannot, of myself, break lifelong habits, but God can motivate me to change. I cannot forgive myself all the pain I've inflicted on myself and others, while suffering from this disease, but God can soften my heart, and help me to forgive by letting me know that He forgives me. There is nothing that I can't accomplish when I take God's hand and let Him lead me.

        One Day at a Time . . .
        I will let God guide me into an ever-deepening relationship with Him so that I may accomplish the great feat of arresting my compulsion to overeat.

        Joycelyn

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Each Day a New Beginning
Happiness is a form of freedom, and of all people I should be the freest. I've earned this happiness and this freedom.
  —Angela L. Wozniak


Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too.

Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life.

We can take a moment today, each time an action is called for, to consider our response. The one that squares with our inner selves and feels good, is the right one. Happiness will accompany it.

Happiness is always within my power. My attitude is at the helm. 


From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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Food for Thought
We Are Sick

Until we realize fully that we are sick, we do not begin to recover. As long as we feel that all we need is a good diet and some willpower, we do not understand the nature of our disease. We would have been able to stop eating compulsively long ago if the answer had been willpower and diet.

When we examine the history of our obesity in the light of the OA program, we see that we are in the grip of an incurable illness, which gets progressively worse, never better. Once we accept the fact that there is no cure for our disease, we can begin to develop control. Until we recognize the seriousness of our illness, we do not succeed in controlling it.

By acknowledging that our very life depends on maintaining abstinence and practicing the OA principles, we come to terms with the reality of our situation. We can live satisfying, full, rewarding lives if we do not forget that we are sick and that our recovery will never be complete.

Each day, may I not forget that I am sick. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go
Feelings

It's okay to have and feel our feelings - all of them.

Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we've lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived.

Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of ourselves to survive certain situations. We shut down the part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love. We may have turned off our sexual or sensual feelings too. Many of us lived in systems with people who refused to tolerate our emotions. We were shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings, usually by people who were taught to repress their own.

But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. We don't need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to rigidly repress our feelings. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It's connected to our physical well being, our thinking, and our spirituality.

Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love.

We are neither weak nor deficient for indulging in our feelings. It means we're becoming healthy and whole.

Today, I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I will tune in to the emotional part of myself. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them.
--Tennessee Williams


Everyone has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.

Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don't always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones.

Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life.
You are reading from the book:


Sunday, December 14, 2014

Daily Recovery Readings: December 14th

Recovery Meditations: December 14th

~CHANGE~

To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

Helen Keller


As far back as I can remember, I have always been fearful of change. I preferred to stay in my comfort zone, even when it became uncomfortable or painful. I suppose that was why I stayed in the disease for so long; it was what I knew. It was safe and predictable and I didn't have to deal with painful emotions such as loss and rejection. This was also why I stayed so long in a bad marriage; I was terrified of what was outside the walls of my dysfunctional relationship. In truth, I didn't really live, because fear of change prevented me from forming new relationships and doing new and exciting things. Even the move from one city to another was totally traumatic, because the old and familiar was what I knew, not because it was better. Even then, I spent so long looking at the closed door behind me that I failed to see the open door in front of me.

I know now that even when I fear change, I need only put one foot in front of the other, and do what is before me. Because I now have faith that my Higher Power will be with me every step of the way, I need only ask for help, and the help comes. Even though it still is not easy, I am aware of how many changes I have been able to make with the help of my Higher Power. In the past, I spent so much time obsessing about the outcome that I talked myself out of the change I was thinking of making. The biggest change that has happened for me is my newfound faith which enables me to take that leap into the unknown.

There have been other miraculous changes too. Now I have a more open and honest relationship with my children and others because I am able to take more risks and set boundaries, which I had never been able to do before. I have changed careers, undertaken flying overseas on my own, and in general am not the scared person I used to be. I also have a whole new family of wonderful friends in this fellowship who understand me and love me always.

One Day at a Time . . .
I continue to grow and change as God wills me to do, and I will not be afraid because I know that He will always be there to guide and help me.


Sharon S.

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Each Day a New Beginning
A theme may seem to have been put aside, but it keeps returning--the same thing modulated, somewhat changed in form.
  —Muriel Rukeyser


No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever.

The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle.

I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life. 

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. 

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Food for Thought
Open Hands

If our hands are tightly clenched, we cannot receive anything with them. In order to benefit from the OA program, we have to let go of whatever we are hanging on to, open ourselves to the program, and be willing to receive. We open our hands to the hands extended in fellowship by our new friends. We open our minds and hearts to new ideas, new truth, and new feelings.

We cannot receive the new way of life if we are closed and unwilling to change. Much of what we hear at meetings may sound strange in the beginning, but if we are receptive, it gradually makes sense. There is nothing about this program, which is impossible for any one of us. All that is required is the desire to stop eating compulsively and the willingness to learn how.

If we are having trouble with abstinence, it may be because we are hanging on to old ways and have closed our hands, refusing to take certain parts of the program. Our Higher Power extends to us the tools of recovery through the OA program. All we have to do is open our hands, firmly grasp these tools, and use them.

I open my hands to receive Your gifts. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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The Language of Letting Go
Clear Thinking

Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we've spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn't going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial.

We didn't resort to denial - either of someone else's problem or our own - because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.

Clear thinking and recovery don't mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something.

Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.

We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly - not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us.

Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved

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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
--Bill Cosby


"Oh, how I wish my dad would get sober." "Oh, how I want my friend to get help with her eating problem." "Oh, how I wish I could make my mom understand."

When we become obsessed with how we want others to change, we put our own happiness on hold. As we wait, hoping and scheming about how to get others to see their many problems, we are neglecting ourselves. It's almost as if we think it's not fair for us to be happy when others are miserable. But when we detach with love, we still care, we still pray and wish for the best, but we know that other people's problems belong to them, not to us.

Today let me accept the fact that if I detach with love, no one will die from it. I'll just be more healthy and happy.
You are reading from the book: